Day 31: Grown Up

Today is day 32 of my 365 blog. I'm finding it harder to blog everyday than I thought, often blogging late, late at night, or even in the wee hours of the next morning. It's not that I don't have anything to say, I just sometimes find it hard to say what I want. I don't mind telling you my personal junk, to an extent, but I want to be sure to shelter the people I love and not write about THEIR personal junk, when their junk and my junk intersect.

Truth is, I am struggling a bit as a wife and mother. My kids are grown, but they have both moved back home for a short time period. Personally, I love having them here because they talk to me. Mike, contrary to what many of you might believe, is not a talker when he comes home. He told me once that by the time he reaches home, he has used up his allotment of vocabulary for the day. Perhaps that is true.

Part of me doesn't love having them home again, because I still feel like "Mom" and therefore tend to want to mother them. I don't do their laundry, but find myself reminding them to DO their laundry. I don't clean their rooms or their bathroom, but find myself reminding them to DO those things as well. I can't imagine they enjoy being mothered any more than I enjoy mothering them. And Mike can't find the boundary line at all. You would truly think they are still teenagers the way he interacts with them. So I find myself constantly reminding him they are grown-ups, which makes him mad, and then I feel like I'm not respecting him. Ugh.

I don't know if you have grown up kids, or if you are one, but it is difficult to find the boundary line. When you have the same role as parents for 20 years, it suddenly becomes difficult to realize, remember, and ACT like your kids are grown-ups.

I am choosing to cherish these last few days, weeks, months that we will all live together as a family unit. We may never pass this way again. But as I say to Jacob all the time, there's a reason kid's grow up and leave home! God planned it that way on purpose.

All that to say, having grown up kids is really pretty amazing. God help us find the balance so we can enjoy it!