Good Morning 2010

Good Morning 2010. (In my head that sounded a lot like Robin Williams saying "Good Morning Vietnam.") I, for one, am glad that it is 2010. A new year. A new beginning. Lots of new beginnings. Who knows what will happen this year? What new circumstances life will bring? What joys? What heartaches? What comfort? What pain? It's all waiting out there, just waiting to give birth to our new lives. As is customary, I like to start out a new year with some thoughts on what I would like to change about myself. Some call these resolutions. I think the "resolve" part came last year, as a part of some hard lessons I had to learn. But I think coming to a place where I am resolved to accept certain truths about me have allowed me to be ready to change them.

In 2009, I learned that contrary to what I think, I am not in control of just about anything. I still want to be in control. The urge to control has not left me. But I have built in some behavior modifications, a gut check if you will, that helps me avoid the controlling. Being a control freak is not easy people. It's not all fun and games, so letting go of that has not been easy either. God has taught me some amazing things along the way of releasing my controlling ways though. Some of the lessons were not so fun. But they were all rewarding. In 2010, I am resolved to continue learning to let go. I am resolved to allow God to be in control (isn't that big of me?)instead of thinking that I am, and instead of thinking that I in any way have the power to control life and life's unpleasantness. I am resolved to allow people to make their own mistakes. I am resolved to give advice when asked, only. And I am resolved to seek, ask, knock. Because that's where I will find the strength to relinquish control.

In 2009, I learned that I will always be a mother to my children no matter how old they get. This, however, does not give me the supreme right to "parent" them for the rest of their lives, however badly I might want to. In 2010, I am resolved to finding the balance between helping my children make the transition into adulthood, and BACKING OFF! :) I am an adult, and God still parents me, but He also gives me a pretty wide berth to learn from my mistakes.

In 2009, I learned that I cannot eat whatever I want, though exercising like a mad woman, and expect to find good health. It just doesn't happen that way. I can't work 60 hour weeks, nor am I expected to. I can't obsess over the little things in life. In 2010, I am resolved to make healthier life choices. I will eat better, exercise well, rest, take vacations, love my husband, read good books (and probably some awful ones) and be better at releasing people from the debts I think they owe me. Even the ones who are still making me mad as of today! (Obviously have a lot of work to do here.)

In 2009, I learned that good friends are hard to come by. I learned that sometimes friends aren't who you think they are, and friendships aren't what you thought they were, but that the richness of the friendship you shared, for the time you shared it, is still good, and you can still cherish those memories. In 2010, I am resolved to enjoy my friends, for the time God has given them to me. I am resolved to make sure I have done all I personally can to practice forgiveness with fractured friendships, and then be content to allow God's timing in restoration. No more obsessing about such things!

In 2009, I learned that no matter how badly you want something for someone else, they have to make their own decisions. In 2010, I am resolved to pray for my sons, that they will make choices for their lives that they have bathed in prayer. I am resolved to let prayer be my parenting style! (Seems like this is a combination of my control and parenting resolutions!)

All that to say, I am looking forward to 2010 and all the ways I will see God work in it. Good Morning 2010.