Day 16: Empty Me

Sunday was an incredible day. Not incredible just because my Georgia friends were here, but incredible because God spoke to me in a way He has not spoken to me in a long time. Maybe He's been speaking and I've been deaf, or deafened to His voice by the sounds of the foolish things in my heart and mind.

We are learning from the teachings of Jesus, his sermon on the mount. This week's lessons were blessed are the meek, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and blessed are the merciful. However, they could have all been the same thing for they all made the same point to me.

I am full of myself.

I used to think that as long as I checked off one of the "blessed ares" then I was in good with God, but today I realized that I just don't think that's true. If I am "in good with God" it certainly has nothing to do with my behavior. I'm "in good" because He saw fit to save me from myself by sending His son for me. But if I am running hard after Him; if I am pursuing Him with everything in me; my life will reflect these teachings of Christ. All of them.

But I am not meek, because I am full of myself. And when I get close to empty, and could choose to fill myself with Him, I fear I choose to refill myself with myself. And when I am empty, and could hunger and thirst for righteousness, I choose to refill myself with myself, my selfish ambitions. And when I could choose to be merciful, to choose a way other than my own, to consider the needs of someone else rather than mine, I choose me.

All that to say, "Empty me, Lord, of the selfishness inside, every vain ambition and the poison of my pride, and any foolish thing my heart holds to, empty me of me so I can be filled with you."