Day 88: Being the Woman of His Dreams

Because I posted a blog entitled "Being the Man of Her Dreams," it is only fair that I publish a list for women on how to be the woman of his dreams. This is a compilation that comes from many "male" sources.

1. He needs you to understand that he has physical needs, namely sex, and that those needs must be met, often, regularly, and unselfishly. This doesn't make him selfish or demanding. It's how he was created. He is a visual and physical being.
That means that how you look is also important. Take the time to take care of yourself physically.
2. He wants to be your friend, but not your BFF. This means that he does care what happens in your life, but he doesn't need to know about every detail of every day and everything that happened in that day. Nor does he want to know the details of your menstral cycle or anything else that would have MORTIFIED you to talk about when you were dating.
3. He will want you to respect him, both in private and in front of others, but especially in front of others. It is also important to him that his opinion matters to you, especially his opinion about you. He wants you to care more about what he thinks than what others think.
4. And he is going to have dreams, lots and lots of them, and it will be important to him that you let him dream his dreams. They might not ever turn out to be anything more than a dream, but if you crush them at the outset, then neither of you will ever know what they could have been. And if you do it often enough, you will crush him. Let him dream.
5. He has a holy spirit, and you are not it. This will be hard for you to remember, because you are going to want to point out to him how he is not spiritual enough, doesn't pray enough, doesn't read his Bible enough, etc. You might be surprised that if you let him lead you spiritually, he will probably be a great leader.
6. And remember, he's not yours to "fix" or "change." Everytime you think about how you want him to change, go back to why you fell in love with him in the first place. More than likely, it's the things you want to change that are the things that made you love him.
7. And lastly, don't take his silence as a sign that he doesn't care about you. He does. He loves you. In fact, he doesn't feel the need to fill up the silence with words. He loves you enough to enjoy the silence.

All that to say, I'm sure I left out a few (some on purpose . . . like "must know how to fetch my beer and tv without having to be told.") Comments are welcome!


  1. Carol, you are so gifted with your writing. I have really enjoyed this blog and the wisdom it contains. This one is great for me and for all those wives out there that often struggle with these very same things. I especially love your stories about your babies. Having experienced all this with Cheyenne, I can very much relate.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Brandi Mullens

  2. Carol...I'm re-reading today (I know a bit late but I've been pondering). Your words ring true. I believe every point, working on them. Of course I do love that you wrote this one on our anniversary...I know that was just for me to remind me of to be the woman of his dreams :). Many thanks.


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