Day 67: Changing Planes

Mike asked me to take a break from controversial topics for a while, which makes me laugh a little (not really, not at all) that a subject like losing my job and learning the lessons God wants me to learn is controversial, but I've kind of reached the "whatever" stage.

Technically, that's not true either.  I'm not at all at the "whatever" stage.

I totally vacillate between the

"This isn't a surprise to God" stage

and the

"What in the H-E-Double Toothpicks is happening right now?" stage.

When I'm in the God stage, I have a million thoughts that run through my head, all encouraging, all uplifting, challenging, but not in a way that makes me want to pull the covers over my head and never leave my house.

When I'm in the HEDOUBLETOOTHPICKS stage, I have a million thoughts that run through my head, none of which are good or for my good.  And they almost all end in some horrible set of circumstances.

When I'm in the God stage, I am at peace.  I feel assured that the future is in His hands, and I can easily trust in His incredible plan for my life and the life of my family.  I feel eternally grateful that He cares enough to refine me, purify me, mold me into the woman I will someday want my girls to be.  And none of that makes my blood pressure soar.

When I'm in the H.E.D.T. stage, I can't breathe.  I fear every conversation (or comment on this blog) is going to turn into some kind of rant.  I worry about what others think. I feel trapped, attacked, bewildered, confused.  I feel like I'm trapped in a tornado of chaos.

So, last night, I was in the NOT GOD stage, and reached out to a friend.   I told her all of the above and she spoke some incredibly life giving words to me and I wanted to share them with you.

She said, "Carol, I'm going to paint you a visual picture, because that's how your mind works. It's like you're on two different planes.  One plane is your spirit, and it's the part of you that's connected to God.  And the other plane is your flesh.  And that's the part of you that wants to be heard.  It's where the chaos is. And the noise from that plane demands to be heard. And you keep changing planes.  When you're on the plane that is your spirit, you can be rational, logical, calm, because you are trusting God and His plans for you.  When you're on the plane that is your flesh, you feel the fight, the chaos.  But you can control which plane you're on.  It's why God tells you to take your thoughts captive."

She said many other things, all of which were God-breathed, that caused me to breathe deeply of Truth.

All that to say, I reached out to her because she's the kind of friend that listens well, and then speaks Truth into you, and also refuses to allow you to wallow in your junk for very long.  Everyone needs a friend like that.  Very grateful for you today, my river friend.  And thankful for the change of planes.