Day 64: Risk

I received an email some days ago from a young woman who reads this blog.  I have her permission to post this letter.  I wanted to share it with you because her heart is so raw, so vulnerable.  As I read her letter, I could truly sense how desperately she needed Jesus.  And I think that's how He wants us to come to Him; wanting Him more than anything else, and being willing to reach out in total vulnerability to find Him; to have the deep loving relationship with Him that He wants to have with us.  I asked her if I could share her letter because the effect it had on me was profound.  It made me wonder what I would risk to draw closer to Jesus.

Here is her letter:

"So I know that this may be unexpected or out of the blue but I think that you are probably the best person that I can talk to right now. I normally don't do these types of things. I have been through so much in my life and have really sheltered myself off from the world so long that it's really hard for me to reach out to anyone even for the simplest things.   

I have a lot of trust issues and I am just really tired of the feelings of loneliness that I deal with.
I've had really great friends in my life and even family members that I have been close to,  but it seems as though disappointments in my life come in handfuls. My expectations of people are not really that high, I've had a lot of people come and go in my life and a lot of bad experiences.

But the one thing that I am really wanting is to better my relationship with God, and when it comes to that I feel completely lost. Now I truly believe that if I better my relationship with God that this just may be my key, to give me the confidence, the strength and the courage to dig myself out of the sheltered hole that I have dug myself into. I just don't know where to begin.

I was raised as a Catholic but it was never really an enforced religion. I was told very little about what the Church believed, and just learned by actions that I saw from other Catholics, I became accustomed to the belief in a lot of the Catholic beliefs. Of course I didn't really learn these customs from the Church it was all from what I was told and what I saw.

Now, that I have been trying to attend Church on a more regular basis, I know that I am Christian. When I walk into my Church, I feel the presence of something so beautiful and amazing and I just take it all in. The only problem is I don't know what to do to continue that into my everyday life. I don't know how to have an ongoing relationship with God and how to trust in him in all that I do. I don't know what to do to better what I already have and believe that one day I will see his plan for me and know what I need to do to be completely happy. I know there will always be tests of my strengths and character but I just need to know how I should prove that I am the person he wants me to be and learn about the person he wants me to be.

I know that this may be a lot or you may already have a lot on your plate with everything else, but for some reason I am drawn to you, your posts and your words, it's like I know that I can trust you and that your response will be completely honest and forthcoming in the entire message that you deliver."

 

My response to her doesn't matter (well, obviously it does matter, but not to the point of this post.)  Her letter made me want to love Jesus more.  She risked a lot in writing me, and even in allowing me to share this with you.  And I thought it might make you wonder what you would risk to be closer to Jesus too.

 

All that to say, I love how Jesus calls us to himself; sometimes through prayer, sometimes through His Word, and sometimes through the words of a sweet young woman who just wants to love Jesus more.