Day 128: Hand Signs and Made Up Names

I am a hand talker. This fact is most evident when I am angry. Or when I am driving. Or worst yet, we I am angry AND driving. (I couldn't decide whether to say worse yet, or worst yet, so I went with "worst yet" as it felt to have the greatest amount of emotion so don't correct me if it's wrong. I took literary license.)

Anyway. I'm a hand talker. I make gestures (not those kind of gestures!) when I talk.

Also, when I don't know some one's name, I make a name for them that describes what I know about them.

For example, years ago, my kids and I would always run into the same guy on Friday's at the donut shop (don't judge me. YES, I fed my kids donuts faithfully every Friday for many years and it didn't stunt their growth) I once had a three year old tell me that he couldn't have a donut because, and I quote, "donuts make you flabby and weak." Wow.

Back to my story. I have blog ADD today.

So, we saw this guy every Friday. And the thing that was the most notable about him was that he bounced when he walked. So we called him "bouncy man."

Really, my whole family does this. We have named all the chef's at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse. They have names like "rock star guy" or "sweaty man" (sweaty man is one of the best there). When I broke my leg several years ago and the paramedic tried to PULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the skate off my broken foot, we named him "Captain first day on the job."

I have many other stories about names I have given people whose real names I don't know.

The most common place I "name" people is in my car, while driving. People get names like "Mr. Oh-that's what that lever is for on my steering wheel. It's a turn signal!" (Most of the names aren't that long)

The other day I was at a four way stop and there was a dad there with two kids on bikes (with training wheels).

brave dad.

He had his hand on one set of his kids' handlebars and was waiting on the other kid to catch up (at said 4 way stop).

So, "Mr. Safety Dad Man" was waiving on the cars at the stop sign he was standing next to, FORGETTING the fact that there were 3 other stop signs at this FOUR-WAY-STOP. He almost got us killed. So I said, "Hey, Mr. Safety dad Man, how about letting the traffic signs do their job? Okay, cool with you?" (Of course I didn't say it TO him, more "at" him, in the privacy of my own car. I HAVE mentioned my road rage issues, right?)

Then, all the sudden, I realize . . . I have toddlers in my backseat. And they are listening to me. So I switch into "Mrs. See What a Good Mom I Am lady" and say, "Look at that nice daddy helping his kids on their bikes. That's so sweet."

Gulp.

All that to say, I am going to have to work on a few things. I am setting an example. I guess I've been setting one for a while now. To more than just the two toddlers in my backseat. I'm sorry. Hopefully a few of my qualities have shown through as well.