Day 85: Ours

I find myself sitting and watching the girls, of late.  Studying them with an intensity that would probably make them uncomfortable if they noticed me doing it. 

When I watch them play and they mimick something I do or say, I think to myself, they really are mine.

When they climb up on their stepstool in my bathroom and pretend to put on make up or do their hair, and they go through the same motions that I do, I think to myself, they really are mine.

When they behave in some undesirable way, I usually think, they get that from Mike. :)

But today I was struck by this thought.  They really are ours.  In every way that matters, they are ours.

They are woven deep into the fabric of our family.  They are our daughters.  They are Zack and Jacob's sisters.  They speak the language of us.   They are ours.

I think, however, that I have been afraid to say that outloud, for fear that someone would come and rip them from our home, from our family, from us.  And the fear of that as been pretty overwhelming at times.

But we prayed for freedom the other night, and I realize today that I need to be freed from that fear.

So I release it.

Because my living in fear won't change it.  In fact, living in fear won't change anything.

But by releasing my fear, I will live without the burden that comes from carrying it.  And I say yes to that.

All that to say, they are ours, and I am not afraid to say it.

2 comments:

  1. From the heart of one future adoptive parent to yours, thank you for this post. I "get it" even though it isn't yet my reality and I pray others will get it even if it will never be their reality. Many times people ask me, "Why do you want to adopt?" My question to them is, "Why do you not want to adopt?" Adoption is a gift from God and I, like you, am so grateful to Him for entrusting me with the heart of a child not born to me.
    Much love and blessings to one of the most beautiful families I know,
    Susan

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  2. awwww they are yalls!!! I still love them like an Aunt Jackin!!!!!

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