Day 87: Peace

Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord, our God. Psalm 20:7

I waited outside the doors of family court this morning.  I had been briefed on what to expect as it related to our hearing today.  Pretty simple stuff, really, in the grand scheme of things.  We would ask the court for temporary orders that would give us custody of the girls until a permanent determination for their placement can be made.  The decision for permanent placement could be over by Thanksgiving, or it could take as long as 18 months. 

Short version of the story.  We were awarded custody.

The day was not without drama, none of which I can really share with you, and none of which really matters anyway, and none of which is the point of this post.

As I sat in the hallway outside the many family courts (there were like 8 courtrooms, not just one),  I was struck with this thought.  "People's lives are being devastated all day long in this hallway."  There was an overwhelming sense of despair and hoplessness there.  You could almost touch it.  You could most assuredly see it.  It was etched deep into the lines of the faces on display.

There was a young woman crying, her mother comforting her.  There were two very jaded CPS workers discussing the merits of their case.  There was a woman and her husband of 18 years who were divorcing and fighting over their house and children.  At one point I leaned over and introduced myself to her and asked her if I could pray for her in some way.  She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes, letting one tear slowly fall down her cheek and whispered, "peace.  just pray for peace."

 And there was no privacy for anyone.  Attorneys and clients and plaintiffs and defendants all argued and discussed their cases right out there in the open.  I was overcome by how little diginity anyone was afforded.

I leaned my head back against the wall, closed my eyes, and prayed for peace.  Peace for Arnita who was losing her children; for Tawnya who was losing her husband and her family, for court workers and cps workers and judges who have become so jaded by all they have seen over the years. 

And I said, "Lord, I realize that each day I fight not to place my trust in man and all our many systems.  I can only trust you.  You are going to be my only sense of peace; my only sense of hope in all of this.  Make me strong enough not to be tempted to trust anything or anyone else."

All that to say, today was a win for us.  And I am celebrating that.  But for some reason, I feel like mourning, and I feel a tremendous weight for those I encountered today.  God give them peace.