Weighty Proportions

For as long as I can remember, I have dieted. Well, maybe not for as long as I can remember, but at least since I was a junior in high school. I wasn't discontent with my weight in high school, although I weighed a good bit (I wore a size 9 when I was 12 years old, that's the smallest I ever remember being). Then I started dating a guy who was WAY skinnier than I was, and that started what would forever become my struggle with weight.

When I married I weighed 122 pounds. And since I am 5'8" tall, that means I was pretty thin. But even then I don't think I appreciated my body. I think by that time I was already sure that my body was imperfect and would never be perfect. Sad. True story though.

And then the babies came. Two in a row, only 16 months apart. And that weight seemed to stay on forever. I did every "diet" I could try. I did the grapefruit diet, the mayo clinic diet, the one meal a day diet, the six meals a day diet, the aerobics 7 days a week diet.

For a time I remember being content with my body. I wasn't super thin, but I wasn't particularly heavy. But I think I was emotionally healthy. And I was spiritually healthy. And my marriage was good. And my kids were good. But when anything was "bad," I ate.

And so has been the pattern of my life. Diet, exercise, like my body, life gets hard, eat, eat, eat, gain weight, get unhappy with my body, diet, exercise , etc.

But I am sick of the hamster wheel. I want to be happy and healthy, but not to have a great body, but just to be able to do the things I want to do in life. So I have started (SURPRISE!) an online journal of my journey to good health called Move a Little, a Personal Journal of Weighty Proportions. I will post my meals, my exercise, my feelings, etc. I'm not brave enough to post my actual weight yet, so I will just post my weight loss for now.

All that to say, here's to good health.