Acutely Aware

I have suddenly become acutely aware that I am aging. Here are my signs:

I can't see. A few years ago, I had great eyesight! Now, I fear leaving the house without my glasses. I have a pair in my car for emergencies. I have a pair in my purse. I have a pair in my bathroom, by my bed, in the kitchen and at my desk. I cannot see menus in restaurants because they only provide me candlelight to see by! (That ticks me, just for the record . . . is that really necessary? And, the nicer the restaurant, the more dim the lighting, which is funny, because typically only older, less vision-enabled people are the ones who can afford to eat in them. TURN UP THE LIGHTS!)

I can't hear. Except in movies and in my son's car, and my husband snoring. Maybe it's because all of those are extremely loud (sorry babe, I still love you!). I used to be able to hear a pin drop. Now I can't hear much at all and find myself leaning in, which only makes people think I'm a great listener, because apparently great listeners "lean in." But probably, great listeners are just aging and can't hear as well. Whatever. I can't hear.

I can't sleep late. SEEEERRRIOUSLYYYYY. This is frustrating. It does not matter what time I go to bed. I cannot sleep late. I wake up at the crack of dawn. Even if I want to sleep late. Even if I have nothing to do the next day. I cannot sleep late. Oh, and also, I can't sleep thru the night. I wake up all night long. Often to go to the bathroom (sorry, TMI?), but even if I don't drink anything after a certain time, and whether or not I have caffeinated coffee, I can't sleep thru the night. Arrgh.

I can't remember things. My short term memory is shot. If someone gives me a phone number, it is sooooo taxing to my brain to hang on to those 7-10 digits for any length of time at all! My long term memory is great, which is why I can remember old stories, but because my short term memory is shot, I can't remember that I have told those stories 12 times!! I am giving you all permission to hold up two fingers as a sign to me that says "I've heard it CJ."

Oh and there are plenty of other not so pleasant signs of aging. As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, "the doors on the street are shut" (giving reference to what he eats and what he expels . . . I know, way too much information!)

Ahhhhh, aging. But in my aging, there are things I can do that I couldn't do when I was in the summer of my life. I can laugh at my own mistakes. I don't take myself and others quite so seriously. I enjoy life more. I'm okay with not being perfect. I'm okay with not having a perfect body (some days), perfect kids, a perfect marriage, a perfect life. I'm okay with not being the sharpest crayon in the box. I'm okay with mixing my metaphors and my "sayings" (because I think the expression is the "brightest" crayon in the box . . . I never get those right.)

All that to say, I suppose aging is better than the alternative. But I sure wish I wasn't having to wear Mr. Tarbutton's glasses to be able to see to type this! (I couldn't find my own!)