The Rhythm of Relationships

This morning, I was walking down the hallway of the hotel where I am staying in South Carolina with my husband. I had just finished my delicious free "hot" breakfast, which consisted of hot coffee and a self-made waffle. I wish I'd had more restraint and went for the oatmeal, but those waffles just looked so good. They weren't, but they looked it.

Anyway, as I was walking back to my room, I was thinking that I couldn't wait to get back to my room and get alone with God. That made me start thinking (following my train of thought is sometimes difficult for even me . . . you know you start thinking about one thing and then wonder how you got from there to how shoelaces were made?) Anyway, as I started thinking about my alone time, I thought about what my Pastor, Jeff Wells, said about having a regular time with and desiring to be alone with God. He says that every person has a different "thumbprint" of their time alone with God. That when we find our thumbprint, we will know it because it "fits"us and we can't imagine missing it.

I agree with that, though I don't know that I would have put it that way. So I started thinking that the "thumbprint" is probably what I would call the rhythm of the relationship. Every relationship has it's own rhythm. And once you find that rhythm, it is great. For example, Mike and I, when we live together, have a rhythm that we have settled into in our "empty nest" stage. We get home from work. Whoever gets home first starts dinner. (You'd think I would strategically let him get home first, but I don't.) Then we eat dinner together (usually in front of the TV, though I have tried for years to change that, but that just usually ended up with me at the table alone.) After that, we just snuggle up together and watch tv for hours. Sounds boring, I know, but it's a "reconnect" for us. Not a lot of words are spoken, but that's okay. It works for us. After enough time on the couch, the words typically find their way as well. When we are separated for any time at all, our "routine" or "rhythm" helps us find our way back into the comfort zone. If we have an argument, the concession and reconciliation usually happens on that same couch. It's our rhythm.

Every relationship, regardless of the type, has a rhythm. I had lunch with some girlfriends in Georgia on Monday. A relationship with a rhythm of which Moe's is a regular part. I have a friend in Texas with whom seeing a movie together is part of the rhythm. With my sons, the rhythm is different with each one. From the breakfast room to my hotel room, I mentally went through a lot of relationships I have with people and thought about the rhythm I have in each of those relationships.

All that to say, I am glad that my hotel room was so far away from that waffle. It gave me a lot of time to reflect on people I love, and people I need to love better.