All That to Say: Choosing Memories

Friendships, the kind that make your life better, richer, more meaningful, are one of the richest blessings that God gives us.  And sometimes they end.  They may end because someone moves away and keeping up with the friendship just gets choked out by the demands of the here and now.  Sometimes they come to an end because they developed in a certain stage of life; perhaps you worked together or your kids played on a team together, or you went to the same church, and that stage of life passes. And sometimes they explode into a mess.

No matter how a friendship ends, there is a certain amount of messiness and pain involved.  In the case of a friendship that dissolves over time and distance, there is an emptiness and a longing for what once was.  There is a guilt that comes from not being more diligent about keeping in touch.  And sometimes there can be anger because you feel like you're the only one in the friendship who is trying to keep in touch.

In the case of a season or stage of life friendship, as the friendship comes to close, there is a sense of loss.  It's almost like a slow death of a loved one.  A friendship that ends from neglect can be incredibly hurtful.

But in the case of a friendship that ends from conflict, there is an immense amount of emotional fallout.  There is anger, and bitterness, and resentment.  There can be feelings of betrayal and deep hurt.  And in the midst of these emotions, it is easy to tell yourself that your friend was never really your friend at all.

I think the enemy tortures us by convincing us we were never really loved; never really friends; that the entire relationship was a sham from the get-go.  And that is simply a lie from hell.

Friendships end.  People hurt people.  They hurt people they love.  But the end doesn't erase the sweet memories of friendship; the good times; the laughter and tears shared throughout the years; the struggles, the triumphs. 

It is sad that we humans hurt each other.  It is sad that our pain causes us to reach a place where we can no longer live in relationship with one another.  But that does not erase that we were once friends.  Real friends.

So our choice becomes to live in the darkness of hurt or move forward with great memories of a good friend.

All that to say, I think I'll choose the memories.