Day 56: Learning to Communicate . . . Again

Mike and I have not ever really mastered the art of communication. When we had been married less than a year, we attended a marriage retreat weekend. At the retreat, the leader asked, "What is the most important aspect of any relationship?" I said, "Listening" and Mike said, "Talking."

We should have known right then that we were in trouble.

What we both meant was "Communication."

So pretty much from the get go we have had trouble with "communication."

A few nights ago, we were talking about all the changes in our life that were taking place at such a breakneck speed, and how those changes have really adversely affected our relationship.

Seems like we have not done a great job talking to each other through all of this.

So, we sat down and each agreed that we could give the other person a couple of things to work on as it relates to communication.

I told Mike I would like him to work on not asking every question as though it was an indictment. (Seriously, he has such a way of asking the most mundane question in such a way, you fear for your life if you answer incorrectly.) And I also asked him to share his heart with me. (Seems like all we women are asking our men for this one!)

Mike said he only had one. He asked me to just quit being such a b-scratch all the time (pretty sure you can figure out b-scratch) . . . to quit responding to every question, statement, observation or comment with a tone and an attitude. LOL. (I do that?)

We even gave each other permission to tell the other person when they are doing the thing they are supposed to stop doing.

It's working pretty well.

So well in fact, that we have actually had some fun conversations lately. He is in such a good place with all of the new business stuff, and I am LOVING that he will be home before 7:30 p.m. most nights.

Last night I said, "Babe, this is going to be so awesome. You're going to get home earlier. I won't be so worn out from the girls. We'll both be rested when they go to bed. You'll get your hopes up. I'll dash them shortly before I go to bed. It's just going to be awesome." We both laughed pretty hard. (I secretly knew I was telling the truth!)

All that to say, we're learning to communicate. Again. It's amazing what a little hope will do for you.