Day 61: Confidence

I lack confidence.

I'm sure many of you will find that surprising, as one of the things I hear most often from people is that I have so much self-confidence that it makes me come across as intimidating. (Of course, I have also been told that my posture and over-pronunciated speech also make me intimidating . . . )

I suppose I am confident about some things, maybe overly so if the truth be told.

But when it comes to running, I totally lack confidence. Every single Friday without fail, I start to panic a little. I panic on Fridays because on Saturday the group I run with does our long run. In the beginning those "long runs" were 2,3,4 or so miles. (at the time, that seemed REALLY far). But now those long runs are 10,11,12 or so miles.

And those numbers are intimidating to me.

And soon those numbers will be 15,18,20 miles.

So on Fridays, I panic. And I tell myself that I'm not ready to run that far. And I begin to notice the tiniest aches and pains in my legs, knees, feet, ankles,etc. So that by Saturday, I'm in a pretty impressive state of anxiety.

It's a miracle I can finish. But consistently, every Saturday, I finish.

So you'd think by now that I wouldn't be so nervous. But I am.

Jacob told me yesterday, "Mom, run with confidence."

I think I've read that before. "Run with confidence the race set before you." God said that too (of course He was talking about life and not running, but still, great advice.)

Just run with confidence. Run like you know you're going to finish. Sounds like a plan no matter what we're talking about.

All that to say, I'm going to try it today. I'll let you know how this whole "confidence" thing works out.