Some mornings I wake up with such a clear head, bright eyed, and ready for the day, almost alive with expectation if that makes sense.
Some mornings, like today, I wake up and feel like the world has suddenly become a weight that someone placed on my shoulders, then dared me to get out of bed without being crushed by the weight.
There is no real way to describe the emotions that course through my head. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm hopeful, I'm expectant, I'm overwhelmed, I'm depressed, I'm burdened.
My only explanation is that I am still grieving the loss of two sweet babies that stole my heart.
Twice yesterday I cried in the middle of a sentence . . . a sentence I have spoken many times without tears.
I have been told, and I agree, that grief is a process.
All that to say, to everything there is a season. A time to laugh, and a time to cry. A time to mourn, and a time to rejoice. I think I just thought the "times" would be distinct and not so jumbled up together.
Carol, I just have to say thank you for putting your heart through the sacrifice of experiencing this grief so that two little babies could be loved and have a safe place to grow. You and Mike have loved well!
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