A Tidy Business Relationship

I'm home this week. A self-imposed vacation so that I don't burn out. I've learned the hard way that one must rest. That's why it's one of the big ten (Remember the Sabbath to keep it Holy). It means rest one day or you won't be holy. :) That's a loose translation.

Anyway (someone told me I say that too much when I write). Anyway. As part of my week, I have determined that I am going to try to get this prayer thing in my life straightened out. It occurred to me the other day, that even though I know that I love God and He loves me, my prayer life has become less of a meaningful time with God and more of a good daily business meeting. It usually starts off with me doing the "pleasantries" . . . "Good Morning God. You are so awesome. I worship only you because you are Lord. You made the heavens and the earth. You are in total control. I love you Lord."

If I were in a meeting with someone else this is what the equivalent would be, "Good Morning. You are really looking great today. I wish I could look that good. You are just excellent at your job. You've got it all under control. Way to Go! I love that about you."

But the problem is, I'm not IN a freakin' business meeting. So why oh why I have a reduced my relationship with God to that? I sit down with Him, do the pleasantries, then give Him the list of things I want Him to accomplish for me during the day.

So I started my week really wanting to have a different, more personal relationship with God. I wrote in my journal, "God, I have walked in fellowship with you for a long time, enjoying your presence when it suited me to do so. Oh but God, how much more have you desired from me? How you have longed for my company, but I have doled it out to you in small portions. I do love you, and my heart's desire is to please you. I think the best way for me to do that is just to truly love you, and then from that love, to love others. But maybe I don't know how to love. What if that is true? What is true God?"

I think I am just terribly distracted by the enemy. I believe that I have allowed him to shape the way I interact with God. He (the devil) knows I'm going to meet with God each morning, so over time, he has cleverly convinced me to have a "meeting" instead of a meaningful relationship-building time together. So, I asked God to show me how to fight off the enemy and his cleverness. Then I opened my Bible to Ephesians Chapter 6. No lie. Half of the chapter is about fighting the devil. So, I am reading it, and studying it.

Over the next few days, I'll share with you what I learn.

All that to say, I have thrown out the day timer that once was my prayer life. I almost feel like I'm going on a blind date.