If It Weren't For the Blood of Jesus.

I don't really know how to start this post.  In truth, I have written and rewritten the first line so many times now, that I considered abandoning the post altogether.  And yet, I feel compelled to tell you this story, so I will muddle through its opening,

I'm a holiday girl.  I love nothing more than having a big, fat family gathering over just about any holiday you could possibly want to celebrate.  But I especially like to make a deal out of the big ones.
It's probably a fact that drives my kids crazy.

Today was Easter.

My youngest son didn't come home for Easter.

My oldest son and daughter-in-law had planned to come over after church and visit/participate in the family Easter egg hunt, but their plans changed as well.

My dad, who was visiting for the weekend, decided to leave early, not go to church with us, skip the Easter egg hunt.

So yeah, not quite the Easter Sunday I had planned.

I confess I shed a few tears in my bathroom before we left for church.  And I felt stupid for doing so.

So Mike and I and the girls loaded up in the car and headed off to our former church, the one where I used to work.  When we got ready to sign the girls in, they were no longer in the system, and for some reason that hurt my feelings deeply.  (By the way, if you ever want to know if you have truly healed from something, the Lord is happy to show you ALL the places where there is still healing to be done!)

I was embarrassed that I was near tears over something so insignificant, but I was absolutely near tears.

As we sat down in church, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, and humiliation, and loneliness.  Odd emotions for an Easter Sunday, in a sanctuary, filled with hundreds and hundreds of people.

And then a video started playing.

The people in the video said, " If it weren't for the blood of Jesus, I would . . ."

And they filled in the blank.

One woman in the video said, "If it weren't for the blood of Jesus, I would be unforgiving and bitter."

Another person said, "If it weren't for the blood of Jesus, I would have no hope."

And person after person after person shared who they would be if it weren't for the blood of Jesus.

And as the people in the video continued to talk, I realized I had made Easter and the celebration of it, about many things; but certainly not about Jesus.

All that to say, I am so grateful for my family.  For my husband, and my sons, and my daughters and my daughter-in-law.  And I'm thankful for the many reasons that we have to celebrate together.  But I am so much more grateful for a God who loved me enough to send His one and only son to die for me on a cross that I might have eternal life.  If it weren't for the blood of Jesus, I can't imagine who I would be.  And I am so grateful I will never have to know.