Day 61: Confidence

I lack confidence.

I'm sure many of you will find that surprising, as one of the things I hear most often from people is that I have so much self-confidence that it makes me come across as intimidating. (Of course, I have also been told that my posture and over-pronunciated speech also make me intimidating . . . )

I suppose I am confident about some things, maybe overly so if the truth be told.

But when it comes to running, I totally lack confidence. Every single Friday without fail, I start to panic a little. I panic on Fridays because on Saturday the group I run with does our long run. In the beginning those "long runs" were 2,3,4 or so miles. (at the time, that seemed REALLY far). But now those long runs are 10,11,12 or so miles.

And those numbers are intimidating to me.

And soon those numbers will be 15,18,20 miles.

So on Fridays, I panic. And I tell myself that I'm not ready to run that far. And I begin to notice the tiniest aches and pains in my legs, knees, feet, ankles,etc. So that by Saturday, I'm in a pretty impressive state of anxiety.

It's a miracle I can finish. But consistently, every Saturday, I finish.

So you'd think by now that I wouldn't be so nervous. But I am.

Jacob told me yesterday, "Mom, run with confidence."

I think I've read that before. "Run with confidence the race set before you." God said that too (of course He was talking about life and not running, but still, great advice.)

Just run with confidence. Run like you know you're going to finish. Sounds like a plan no matter what we're talking about.

All that to say, I'm going to try it today. I'll let you know how this whole "confidence" thing works out.

I Wanted to Run a Marathon

So, last night Mike and I drove down to Houston to drop off some stuff at Jacob's house and then we met up with Sarah and all had dinner. Somewhere along the way, I said, "So, who's with me? I think we should all train for a marathon." Mostly my comment was met with silence, some snorts, and a few snickers (personally I don't know the difference between a snort and a snicker, but I needed another catchy word there).

My husband started telling me all the reasons I couldn't run a marathon, like how I didn't know how to run, my knees are bad, I'm out of shape . . . the list goes on. I stipulated to his list and said that was why I had to train, and then I said "Come on! Who's with me?" Still no takers. (Keep in mind that Jacob IS a runner, but he does have this medical thing going on with his muscles, so I sort of forgive him for not jumping on the bandwagon).

So then someone, maybe Sarah(?) suggested we run a half marathon. And I said, 'YEAH, I could totally do that, what is that, like 6.5 miles right?' To which everyone laughed and asked me how far I thought a marathon was. Seriously, I thought a marathon was about 13 miles. WHO KNEW it was 26 freakin' miles???!!! Who runs that far, besides Forest Gump??!!

Well, in the end, even with Mike the Encourager getting on board, we all decided we could train for a half marathon. Jacob thinks it will take me about 4 months. I think that sounds SOON! I figured it would like be this time next year before I could run 13 miles.

All that to say, I'm gonna need a new pair of shoes. And if something leads to shoe shopping, it HAS to be good. Oh, and if you have any thoughts on how I should train for this 13 mile run, let me know. Soon.