Day 51: Confusing Myself

From time to time, I struggle with my prayer life. I don't mean that I struggle in having one. I'm pretty consistent about that. I often find that at random times I have zoned out of my conscious mind and find that I am deep in conversation with God.

What I mean is that sometimes I struggle in knowing what exactly to say to God.

In my logical mind, I know that prayer changes things. I know there is scripture to support that Moses convinced God to spare His people whom He was planning to wipe out. So, if God was "intent" on wiping out His people and Moses convinced Him to do otherwise, then that does indeed mean that God changed His mind, right?

It's just that sometimes when I pray, I feel like I am telling God what to do, and that feels wrong.

Examples? "Lord, take every cell, every tissue, every ligament and every tendon, and heal them for your glory." Feels a lot like I'm bossing Him around. (I actually prayed that exact prayer yesterday.)

As I was walking up to my building yesterday, I realized I was praying and I heard myself say, "Lord, you need to just . . ." (I'll spare you the details of that prayer, but suffice it to say, starting a sentence with "you need to just . . ." is going to be bossing someone around, and in this case it was God."

Of course I have not reduced my prayer life to a list of things to ask God for. It's just aht when I do want to ask Him for something,I don't actually think I know HOW to ask Him. And that thought cripples my ability to pray. And once that happens, I begin to create a formula for my prayers. You know, just to be sure I'm "doing it right."

Is this just me? Am I the only one who struggles in this?

I often say that I trust God's plan for my life. And if that is true, then why do I need to ask Him for anything at all? He already HAS a plan. So then should my prayers JUST be adoration, confession, thanksgiving? I don't think so because Jesus said in the book of John, "If you remain in me and my word remains in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you." So clearly, there is nothing wrong in the asking.

All that to say, I confuse myself sometimes. Lord, teach me to pray.


  1. You are in good company, Carol. The Apostle Paul spoke about just this very thing in Romans 8:26-27:

    In the same way (you have to check the proceeding verses) the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
    and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

    Just keep praying. = )

    Becky J.

  2. Girl... I feel ya. Sometimes I pray with all of the faith of my precious children. Then other times I wonder if I'm really making a difference.

    I choose to press on- I HAVE to believe He hears and loves it when we come to Him with honest, confused, scared, hurt, random prayers... 'cause it means we love Him and trust Him enough to even try. :)


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