A Lesson in Honesty

I work at a really cool church. I don't mean cool in that we have a cool building, with cool worship, and a super hip pastor (though most of that is true, and we are getting ready to move into a cool building!) But it is cool in the sense that it is full of very authentic and flawed people. I find that I fit into a crowd like that pretty well, as I am quite flawed.

Once a quarter, our entire staff, full time and part-time, goes away together for an entire day of prayer. Now the first time I heard that, I thought, 8 hours of prayer? What does that look like? But it was really one of the most incredible things I have ever experienced, only topped by staff prayer at 220 SLW which is always incredible. At these all day prayer events, we worship together by singing, several times throughout the day. We pray individually (alone). We pray together (corporately). We pray in teams. We pray in groups. It's hard to describe the day, but it is incredible.

Yesterday was our quarterly day of prayer. As a part of it, we prayed together. Our pastor is such an incredibly humble man. I mean he is HUMBLE. One time when we were talking about strengths, he said, "I think I am humble." Then he said, "Well I guess I'm not very humble if I say I am humble. " That made me giggle a little. Anyway, back to yesterday. So, as a part of our corporate prayer he begins by leading us in a time of confession. Now, I know you are probably thinking this is either lame or scary, but it is neither . . . nor is it phoney, no "Lord, help me be a better wife and mother, help me to love my neighbor" stuff. No, it is real serious confession, "I am lazy God and sometimes I don't really care what you think." "I am self-centered and rebellious . . ." "I have lusted after things, things that separate me from you." Keep in mind these are pastors and church administrators praying these prayers. And praying with a tremendous brokeness, true repentence.

But, as is his fashion, our Pastor said something after our corporate time of prayer that was earth shattering. He said, "A great work of God is not going to come across your computer. A great work of God is going to come on your knees." I don't know why that impacted me so greatly. Probably because I am on my computer FAR MORE than I am on my knees. He has said other things that have had the same impact. Things like "prayer is the real work," and "self-reliant people don't pray."

I think that I learned, following a time of true repentence, real honesty before God, that I am flawed. I need God. And He isn't going to come across my computer screen. (Well I suppose He could if He wanted. I mean He's talked from a burning bush, so I guess He can go hi-tech too).

But all that to say, I need Him. And where I am going to find Him, is on my knees.