The court of public opinion is a terrible, terrible court. The judge is jaded, the jury predisposed to judge the case based on emotion and not facts, and the attorneys for both sides are mute.
That's why years and years and years ago, it was established that justice would be much better served if 12 impartial people heard the facts of a trial and determined the outcome.
Is the American system of justice perfect? Absolutely not.
Innocent people go to jail.
Guilty people are set free.
It happens every single day.
And though I never venture out into these political waters, I thought that for today, I would weigh in.
Picture for just a moment, that Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman were both white, or both black, or black and Asian, or Asian and Asian (you get the point). Picture for the moment that the two parties to this case were NOT black and white.
The court of public opinion would be a mute court; I feel certain of it.
I feel certain of it because I think this case has way more to say about the vast racial divide that still exists in our country than it does about blind justice or a failed judicial system.
I don't know if George Zimmerman was innocent or guilty of murder. I didn't hear the case, other than the pieces I was fed through the media. He was guilty of a lot of things that ultimately ended in the death of young man. And that is tragic. And tragically wrong. But even if Trayvon Martin was 100% to blame (and I'm not saying he was), his death would be no less tragic, and no less wrong, no less devastating to those who loved him.
All that to say, my heart is deeply saddened by all that this case has revealed about us. Not us as a nation, us as human beings.
Sitting in the Middle of the Road
I was driving home last Friday morning from an early morning walk with friends. For a Friday, the roads were surprisingly empty, but I suppose it's because it was the Friday after the Fourth of July and more people than usual were sleeping in.
As I drove, somewhat lost in my own thoughts, I happened to notice a gorgeous black lab sitting in the median up ahead of me. He sat there, very stoic-looking, and incredibly relaxed for a dog sitting in a median. As I approached, I realized he was sitting next to another dog who was dead.
When I got home, I couldn't shake the image of the beautiful black lab standing guard over what I can only assume was his friend, his fellow traveler, his mate. He didn't appear to be anxious, or waiting for help. He simply sat, perhaps still in shock, perhaps mourning, perhaps simply not knowing what to do next.
Feeling His Pain
And oddly, I felt a kinship to his story. A very huge part of what I know to be "me" is gone. And I find that I am simply sitting, somewhat in shock (yes, still), somewhat in mourning, and somewhat simply not knowing what to do next.
On a walk with a friend this morning, I was explaining to her that I feel lost in trying to re-establish community within the church. And it occurred to me as we talked, that all the reasons I give for not being "able" to find a church to attend are excuses. The real reason is that I am mad "at" the church, and therefore don't really want to attend any church.
She told me that was like having a bad experience with an oil and gas company and deciding I just wasn't going to ever buy oil and gas again. . . (or something like that . . . I was in the moment. It was beautiful when she said it.)
The Middle of the Road
At its core, I have unforgiveness in my heart. I am frozen in that unforgiveness, and I am the only one who can really do anything at all about it. It's somewhat disheartening to know that I have within myself, the Power to set myself free. And yet, like that beautiful black lab, I choose to sit, frozen in the middle of the road, unable or unwilling to move.
All that to say, knowing WHAT to do and DOING it are often two very different things. I can't sit here in the middle of the road much longer, for it's a very dangerous place to sit. I am assured that God's best for me is still ahead of me. I'm just gonna need to get ON the road and out of the middle of it.
Carol
As I drove, somewhat lost in my own thoughts, I happened to notice a gorgeous black lab sitting in the median up ahead of me. He sat there, very stoic-looking, and incredibly relaxed for a dog sitting in a median. As I approached, I realized he was sitting next to another dog who was dead.
When I got home, I couldn't shake the image of the beautiful black lab standing guard over what I can only assume was his friend, his fellow traveler, his mate. He didn't appear to be anxious, or waiting for help. He simply sat, perhaps still in shock, perhaps mourning, perhaps simply not knowing what to do next.
Feeling His Pain
And oddly, I felt a kinship to his story. A very huge part of what I know to be "me" is gone. And I find that I am simply sitting, somewhat in shock (yes, still), somewhat in mourning, and somewhat simply not knowing what to do next.
On a walk with a friend this morning, I was explaining to her that I feel lost in trying to re-establish community within the church. And it occurred to me as we talked, that all the reasons I give for not being "able" to find a church to attend are excuses. The real reason is that I am mad "at" the church, and therefore don't really want to attend any church.
She told me that was like having a bad experience with an oil and gas company and deciding I just wasn't going to ever buy oil and gas again. . . (or something like that . . . I was in the moment. It was beautiful when she said it.)
The Middle of the Road
At its core, I have unforgiveness in my heart. I am frozen in that unforgiveness, and I am the only one who can really do anything at all about it. It's somewhat disheartening to know that I have within myself, the Power to set myself free. And yet, like that beautiful black lab, I choose to sit, frozen in the middle of the road, unable or unwilling to move.
All that to say, knowing WHAT to do and DOING it are often two very different things. I can't sit here in the middle of the road much longer, for it's a very dangerous place to sit. I am assured that God's best for me is still ahead of me. I'm just gonna need to get ON the road and out of the middle of it.
Carol
The Road to Awesome is Paved With Success AND Failure
Well, here is a just a bit of transparency for your Wednesday.
Being a fifty-two year old mom of toddlers has been a wake up call for me in a lot of ways, but especially in the area of my health.
I mean, I've always planned to live a good long time, but I don't think I ever felt the PRESSURE to live to a ripe old age. But I have young children now. They need me to be around, you know?
So in December of 2012, I started a journey to good health. I changed a lot of my bad eating habits. (Not all of them, clearly judging from this, and this, and this.) But as a general rule,
- I eat much cleaner, healthier foods
- I get more exercise, typically working out 4-6 times a week
- I take a Sabbath
- I stress less about the small stuff
I'm still not as good as I should be about resting, relaxing, or de-stressing, but I'm working on it. :)
Anyway, as part of my journey to good health, I had to take a look at myself in the mirror and realize I had a lot of weight to lose. The avatars you see at the top are my starting weight (on the left), and my goal weight (on the right). Keep in mind, these avatars are like a 25 year old version of me. (Meaning, I'm not nearly this smooth skinned or firm . . . like I said, a bit of transparency here today).
To be a healthy weight for my age and height I was shocked to learn I needed to lose 51 pounds! So I set myself a goal to lose the weight in one year (an average of 1 pound a week). I didn't gain all that weight overnight, and I wasn't going to lose it overnight.
As of TODAY, I have lost 26 pounds.
Halfway to my goal! |
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| At my heaviest (I still look okay, but looks can be deceiving, as I was 51 pounds overweight here!) |
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| And today, 2 sizes smaller and 26 pounds lighter! |
I feel successful, even though I have definitely had some rough weeks in there (I gained 4 pounds one week from ONE MEAL! And at a pound a week, that took a month to get rid of! Then I plateaued for 6 weeks, desperately wanting to give up . . . but I didn't)
But I also feel successful because I'm not stressed out about the ups and downs I experience on the scale. My goal is in the distance, and the successes and failures along the way are just part of the process.
I think that's true of everything in life.
The journey of our lives include successes and failures. They are just part of the process.
All that to say, I'm on the path that leads to awesome (notice I didn't say skinny! . . . but if skinny is involved, I guess I'm okay with that too!)
Our Battle Is NOT With Flesh and Blood
I went to church tonight, which if you keep up with my life, is no small thing. (Not because I'm not a church goer, but because I went to my old church, where I used to work . . . it's complicated.)
While I was there, the Pastor was talking about being "in the battle." And I couldn't help but think that the battle is all around us. How often do we as believers feel at odds or even persecuted by other believers and treat them as though they are on the "opposing team?'
Far too often I would venture to guess.
I know it's true of me.
While I was there, I thought about the people who had hurt me, or talked bad about me, or blah, blah, blah fill in the blank, and in the midst of those emotions, I had a very superior feeling of righteousness.
Trust me when I tell you, though, open your heart to God in the middle of HIS church, and He's not going to let you feel very superior OR righteous for long, because there is nothing righteous about those feelings.
Those feelings are born solely of unforgiveness.
And I must see the unforgiveness in myself, and forgive. I cannot be responsible for someone else's unforgiveness. I can (and should) attempt to be reconciled to them (if they are open to it), but holding a grudge, harboring judgement or unforgiveness . . . simply not an option.
What I should have been thinking about was the people I have hurt, or talked bad about, or treated unfairly, or judged and prayed for forgiveness.
I am not on the opposing team. They are not on the opposing team. For the love of Jesus, we are brothers and sisters. We play for the same team. There is no glory for God when we, His children, who are called by His name, are content to live at odds with one another.
As I would say to my toddlers, "That is NOT okay."
All that to say, I am grateful that God makes me painfully aware of my sin, my self-righteousness, my unforgiveness. Grateful because it keeps me from fooling myself into believing that I am healed when I am not. I like to think I'm good at fooling myself. God's got my number though. Thank God.
While I was there, the Pastor was talking about being "in the battle." And I couldn't help but think that the battle is all around us. How often do we as believers feel at odds or even persecuted by other believers and treat them as though they are on the "opposing team?'
Far too often I would venture to guess.
I know it's true of me.
While I was there, I thought about the people who had hurt me, or talked bad about me, or blah, blah, blah fill in the blank, and in the midst of those emotions, I had a very superior feeling of righteousness.
Trust me when I tell you, though, open your heart to God in the middle of HIS church, and He's not going to let you feel very superior OR righteous for long, because there is nothing righteous about those feelings.
Those feelings are born solely of unforgiveness.
And I must see the unforgiveness in myself, and forgive. I cannot be responsible for someone else's unforgiveness. I can (and should) attempt to be reconciled to them (if they are open to it), but holding a grudge, harboring judgement or unforgiveness . . . simply not an option.
What I should have been thinking about was the people I have hurt, or talked bad about, or treated unfairly, or judged and prayed for forgiveness.
I am not on the opposing team. They are not on the opposing team. For the love of Jesus, we are brothers and sisters. We play for the same team. There is no glory for God when we, His children, who are called by His name, are content to live at odds with one another.
As I would say to my toddlers, "That is NOT okay."
All that to say, I am grateful that God makes me painfully aware of my sin, my self-righteousness, my unforgiveness. Grateful because it keeps me from fooling myself into believing that I am healed when I am not. I like to think I'm good at fooling myself. God's got my number though. Thank God.
In Honor of My Birthday
If we aren't very careful, I think it is very easy to live a topsy-turvey, life-upside-down kind of life, spending time on pursuits that don't matter at the sake of the things in our lives that do.
Perhaps I am just being philosophical because it is my birthday, but I have come to realize that the ability to waste your life is something that comes far too easily for most of us, while LIVING your life, the full, abundant life we are called to live, takes incredible effort.
I made a list of the things that have wasted my life (and discarded it ceremoniously).
These are the things that are worth living for:
My deep faith that challenges me, rescues me, protects me and sustains me;
My husband and children, who are the best part of me;
My family that loves me unconditionally, and
My treasured friends (they know who they are, I don't have to name them) who have weathered life's storms alongside me and still call me friend.
In honor of my birthday, I say to you
LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
All that to say, that is all. Carry on.
You Are Not Invisible
I believe God speaks to me, really to all of us, as though we are preschoolers. He repeats Himself, over and over and over because we learn best through repetition.
Quite some time ago, I saw Zephaniah 3:17 on a large screen during a church service. The message in that moment was comforting, but I didn't think about it much beyond that. Later that same day, I saw it printed again, and just a few days later, I saw it stuck on a bulletin board in a friend's office.
Zephaniah 3:17
I wrote:
"Carol, your God is living among you. You aren't invisible, nor are the circumstances of your life. He is right there. He is mighty to save you. He's strong. He can handle all of this. He will take delight in you, Carol, because He adores you and you are incredibly precious to Him. With his love, he will calm all of your fears. His love is all encompassing, and it's the safest place you can go. So go. Find peace there. And when you get there, you will hear Him rejoicing over you with songs. He's singing over you. Remember when you used to sing over your children when they were little? Remember how that calmed them? They could feel how much you loved them. They felt safe. He's singing over you now, Carol."
All that to say, my Savior, He can move the mountains.
"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
I saw this verse over, and over, and over. So I paid attention. I read it slower and I deeply personalized it.
I wrote:
"Carol, your God is living among you. You aren't invisible, nor are the circumstances of your life. He is right there. He is mighty to save you. He's strong. He can handle all of this. He will take delight in you, Carol, because He adores you and you are incredibly precious to Him. With his love, he will calm all of your fears. His love is all encompassing, and it's the safest place you can go. So go. Find peace there. And when you get there, you will hear Him rejoicing over you with songs. He's singing over you. Remember when you used to sing over your children when they were little? Remember how that calmed them? They could feel how much you loved them. They felt safe. He's singing over you now, Carol."
All that to say, my Savior, He can move the mountains.
For the Love of Pink and Glitter, It's Give Friday!
I remember the first time I walked past Sweet & Sassy and saw a store full of pink and glitter, all I could think was, "Man, am I glad I don't have little girls!"
But . . . we all know how THAT turned out!
And yet, even once I had girls, I totally didn't get the attraction. Okay . . . so you can take your little girl in there, let her get a pedicure, or a fancy hair do, have a party with all her friends, and ride in a pink limo? "And why is that special again," I asked myself.
For the Love of Pink and Glitter
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| Complete outfit from Sweet and Sassy (oh my gosh!) |
The stage, the runway, the costumes, the music . . . there was pretty much nothing they didn't love about Sweet & Sassy. And the love affair was born.
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| Discovering the stage and the runway! |
We have spent many, many hours at Sweet & Sassy. We've gotten our ears pierced, picked out our school backpacks, bought birthday outfits, had manicures, (I know, but they're little girls ...it was a special treat!) gotten haircuts; we've done it all (well, they've never ridden in the pink limo, but someday!)
And I have to confess, I used to have a real attitude about stores like this. But there is something special about Sweet & Sassy, something magical.
So, when the girls are old enough (they're still a little young), I'm sure they'll want to have a birthday party there. And we probably will, because it's pink and it's glittery and they're little girls.
In honor of the goodness of pink and glitter, I am giving away an awesome gift package to Sweet & Sassy. When I asked the owner at Sweet & Sassy if she'd donate a package for my blog, I expected she would donate a sweet little manicure, so I was shocked at how generous she was! And guess who benefits? (Sadly, neither of my girls . . .)
But you do! woot woot!
It's Give Friday!
What are you going to win? Something awesome! You will win the "Everything Spa Package" which is valued at $90 and includes:
- mini-mani & mini-pedi
- mini-facial
- sweet hand treatment
- 2 nail arts
- ring & toe ring, and a
- create your own lotion and sugar scrub
But You Gotta Enter to Win
I'm making it simple today. Comment here and go like Sweet & Sassy on Facebook (I even provided the link for goodness sake!) And, because it's in The Woodlands, TX, you pretty much have to be fairly local to win or willing to drive a long way. :)
All that to say, I hope you love Sweet & Sassy as much as my girls do. But be warned, you WILL come out all glittery. Don't say I didn't warn you. And have fun!
THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY!
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