In Honor of My Birthday

If we aren't very careful, I think it is very easy to live a topsy-turvey, life-upside-down kind of life, spending time on pursuits that don't matter at the sake of the things in our lives that do.

Perhaps I am just being philosophical because it is my birthday, but I have come to realize that the ability to waste your life is something that comes far too easily for most of us, while LIVING your life, the full, abundant life we are called to live, takes incredible effort.

I made  a list of the things that have wasted my life (and discarded it ceremoniously).  

These are the things that are worth living for:

My deep faith that challenges me, rescues me, protects me and sustains me;

My husband and children, who are the best part of me;

My family that loves me unconditionally, and 

My treasured friends (they know who they are, I don't have to name them) who have weathered life's storms alongside me and still call me friend.

In honor of my birthday, I say to you

LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST.  

All that to say, that is all.  Carry on.  

People Are Complicated

God created human beings to live in community; with Him, and with others.

And I don't know about you, but sometimes, that plan is a difficult one.  It has been my experience that sometimes people disappoint you.

Sometimes they don't live up to your expectations.

They aren't sensitive to your pain nor do they offer you a shoulder when you need one.

Sometimes they are in a hurry when you need their time.

And they minimize your trials or worse yet, make you feel small because your trials aren't as significant as theirs.

It has been my experience that people hurt you, use you, betray you, doubt you, lie to you, dislike you, unfriend you, and even talk about you behind your back.

They say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, think the wrong thing.

They don't fulfill your emotional needs, or your physical needs, or your spiritual needs.

But here's the greatest lesson I've learned.  They aren't supposed to.

Most of the time, when I am disappointed by others, it is because I have expected them to be perfect; to live up to and exceed my expectations.  I have expected them to fill some place that isn't theirs to fill.  I need Jesus, but I look for fulfillment and completion and approval from people.

All that to say, God's Word says, "And my God will supply all of your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." People are complicated.  God's Word isn't.  Love People.  Live in His Word.

Drowning

The other day we were visiting some friends whose house backs up to a lake of sorts.  It's really more like a really, really big pond, but nonetheless, a substantial body of water.  We took a walk, my friend and I, and our two sets of 4 year old twins, down a path that eventually led to a gazebo that overlooked the lake.  Very picturesque, even with the lifeless pall of winter overshadowing the scene.

The girls, all armed with a small twig, knelt down at a small pool of water just alongside the gazebo, pretending to fish, as my friend and I talked.

And then, almost as if it were happening in slow motion, Shannay leaned ever so slightly too far in and the weight of her off-balanced body caused her to topple, head first, into the lake.  My friend moved with ninja speed (I don't actually know if ninjas are fast, but in my mind it sounded right) and rescued Shannay from the water.

The other girls thought this was delightful and laughed with glee, but Shannay didn't think it was too funny.  Once she stopped screaming, she said, "I kept draining."

I feel it important to note that at no time was she actually "draining," a fact she realized as soon as she stood up in the knee deep pool of water.  But nonetheless, a very scary thing for a 4 year old.

Today, I was thinking about her feeling like she was drowning, and as her fear overtook her, she was incapable of simply standing and taking a deep breath.  In her mind, she was actually drowning.

I understand that feeling some days.  I think I'm drowning, but in reality, if I could just look past my fear and stand up, I'd realize I'm actually okay.

All that to say, fear has a lot of power in our lives; too much power.  Funny thing is, it only has the power over us that we let it have.  So to you, Fear, I say, "I'm not draining.  I'm standing.  And I'm breathing. Boo ya."


So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

All That to Say: Enduring Treasures

When I say the word "friend" I wonder what comes to your mind.  According to facebook, I have over 700 friends, but of course we know that's not true.  No one has 700 friends.  Some of those "friends" are people I don't actually even know.  That's true, and a little bit scary.

Many of these "friends" are acquaintances.  People I sort of know, or with whom I have some mutual interest, like church or work or a social group, etc.

I think you can have different kinds of friends.  I've blogged about that many times. 

You can have casual friends.  People you really do consider a friend, but with whom you only hang out casually.  No real depth there, but still someone you'd call "friend."

You can have mutual interest friends.  People maybe that you work with or run with or go to church with, but you have no real contact outside of these places.  It doesn't mean you don't care about these people, it's just that you don't connect beyond this mutual interest.

You can even have virtual friends.  I have actually developed some great friendships with people that started as virtual friends.

But the most life giving of all friendships are enduring ones.  Enduring friendships are the kind that go deep enough to pierce the protective barrier of trust.  They are the people that you let "in." 

These enduring friendships live out the test of time and distance and circumstance.  They outlast disagreements and hurt feelings.  They are patient.  They keep no record of wrong.  They are forgiving.  They are honest.  They speak truth into your life.  They challenge you and call you to be the very best you that you can be.

Of course, there is a risk in these friendships.  Sometimes these friends hurt you deeply, because they get close enough to your heart to be able to hurt you.  And sometimes they turn out not to be friends at all.  But you're never going to find true enduring friends without this risk.

I count myself lucky to have a few of these friends.  Friends who wade into my junk, dive deep into my heart, aren't afraid to tell me what I need to hear, and love me despite my idiosyncrasies, my scars, and flaws.

All that to say, friendships are a gift.  They are to be treasured.  I treasure each of you, my enduring friends.

Day 82: Coffee With a Stranger

At the wedding I attended this weekend, I met a young woman that I felt like I had known for years, but then realized we had not actually ever met.   I had just seen her for years on someone else's facebook page and felt like I knew her.

It's the second time that has happened to me, and I'm quite sure it will happen again.

Social media is awesome and amazing and wonderful and creepy scary dangerous all at the same time.  I mean, come on, it's a little weird for it to take several minutes into a conversation before you realize you don't ACTUALLY know someone.  Creepy.

But there are also those occasions when you meet someone for the very first time and it really is as if you've known them a lifetime. And it's has nothing to with facebook, but more to do with God-appointed chemistry. I had that happen today too.

I talked to a woman named Alli Worthington on the phone FOR AN HOUR and it was like I'd known her my whole life.  We got connected through a mutual friend who said he thought we had a lot in common because we were both witty, sarcastic, but thoughtful and bright and caring too.  (That's a lot to live up to!)  And that we were both writers, bloggers, mothers, etc.

She's been around the blogging block a long time and really scared the crap poo out of me as it relates to what companies are doing with all of our "personal" information that we are putting out there on the net via facebook, blogs, twitter, etc.  Google "Big Data" and read a little, and you'll be scared too!

At the same time, I felt the oddest sense of comfort as we talked.  It was like having coffee with an old friend that you haven't seen in a while.  Warm, familiar, comfortable.  I think God does things like that.  Puts people together and makes an instant connection because He has some purpose in the connection.

All that to say, Alli, I don't know His purpose, but I am praying for your post-it notes and my flashing neon sign.  And it was great to meet you.