Day 17: A Big Week, I Think

I have a meeting on Thursday of this week. It will be a day of big decision making, so I would appreciate your prayers on the part of two little girls. I stand before God with my hands open saying, "Whatever you want, Lord. Whatever you want."

God and I had a pretty heavy conversation yesterday. About life. And about my need to control it. And in case you aren't a good enough friend to know this about me, I'm a control freak. A big one. And my need to control things, especially things that feel like they are spinning out of control is HUGE.

And this current thing is spiiiiiiiiiiining.

So standing before God with my hands open is a pretty big deal. I trust Him. I do. But then I start thinking about all the worst possible scenarios and I think to myself, "What if these things come to pass? Will I still trust Him?" Lord help me in my unbelief.

So there is that happening this week.

Then, there is this other thing. Our house in GA has been on the market for 3.5 years. Yes, THREE AND A HALF FREAKING YEARS. And no, that isn't a record for those of you who have asked, but it is still a dang long time.

And now, we have a serious looker. This will be their third look at this house. And they have checked back pretty often to be sure the house hasn't sold. (They are relo's from Alabama) So they are coming back to town this week to take another look and to decide if this is really the house for them. (*insert heavy sigh here)

It's almost too much to hope for, because we have waited so long.

All that to say, this is a big week of decisions. I think I might throw up, or just curl up in a ball and wait for the decisions to be over. I don't know. I'm scared and wanting so desparately to control, control, control. But, I'm going to breathe and survive, no matter the outcome. Breathe, breathe, breathe (holy cow, I can't breathe!)