The Road to Awesome is Paved With Success AND Failure

Well, here is a just a bit of transparency for your Wednesday.  


Being a fifty-two year old mom of toddlers has been a wake up call for me in a lot of ways, but especially in the area of my health.

I mean, I've always planned to live a good long time, but I don't think I ever felt the PRESSURE to live to a ripe old age.  But I have young children now.  They need me to be around, you know?

So in December of 2012, I started a journey to good health.  I changed a lot of my bad eating habits. (Not all of them, clearly judging from this, and this, and this.)  But as a general rule, 

• I eat much cleaner, healthier foods  
• I get more exercise, typically working out 4-6 times a week
• I take a Sabbath
• I stress less about the small stuff

I'm still not as good as I should be about resting, relaxing, or de-stressing, but I'm working on it. :)

Anyway, as part of my journey to good health, I had to take a look at myself in the mirror and realize I had a lot of weight to lose.  The avatars you see at the top are my starting weight (on the left), and my goal weight (on the right).  Keep in mind, these avatars are like a 25 year old version of me. (Meaning, I'm not nearly this smooth skinned or firm . . . like I said, a bit of transparency here today).

To be a healthy weight for my age and height I was shocked to learn I needed to lose 51 pounds! So I set myself a goal to lose the weight in one year (an average of 1 pound a week). I didn't gain all that weight overnight, and I wasn't going to lose it overnight.

                  As of TODAY, I have lost 26 pounds.  

              Halfway to my goal!

At my heaviest (I still look okay,
but looks can be deceiving, as I
was 51 pounds overweight here!) 

And today, 2 sizes smaller and 26 pounds lighter!

I feel successful, even though I have definitely had some rough weeks in there (I gained 4 pounds one week from ONE MEAL!  And at a pound a week, that took a month to get rid of! Then I plateaued for 6 weeks, desperately wanting to give up . . . but I didn't)

But I also feel successful because I'm not stressed out about the ups and downs I experience on the scale.  My goal is in the distance, and the successes and failures along the way are just part of the process.  

I think that's true of everything in life.

The journey of our lives include successes and failures. They are just part of the process.  

All that to say, I'm on the path that leads to awesome (notice I didn't say skinny! . . . but if skinny is involved, I guess I'm okay with that too!)

Our Battle Is NOT With Flesh and Blood

I went to church tonight, which if you keep up with my life, is no small thing.  (Not because I'm not a church goer, but because I went to my old church, where I used to work . . . it's complicated.)

While I was there, the Pastor was talking about being "in the battle."  And I couldn't help but think that the battle is all around us.  How often do we as believers feel at odds or even persecuted by other believers and treat them as though they are on the "opposing team?'

Far too often I would venture to guess.

I know it's true of me.

While I was there, I thought about the people who had hurt me, or talked bad about me, or blah, blah, blah fill in the blank, and in the midst of those emotions, I had a very superior feeling of righteousness.

Trust me when I tell you, though, open your heart to God in the middle of HIS church, and He's not going to let you feel very superior OR righteous for long, because there is nothing righteous about those feelings.

Those feelings are born solely of unforgiveness.

And I must see the unforgiveness in myself, and forgive.  I cannot be responsible for someone else's unforgiveness.  I can (and should) attempt to be reconciled to them (if they are open to it), but holding a grudge, harboring judgement or unforgiveness . . . simply not an option.

What I should have been thinking about was the people I have hurt, or talked bad about, or treated unfairly, or judged and prayed for forgiveness.

I am not on the opposing team.  They are not on the opposing team.  For the love of Jesus, we are brothers and sisters.  We play for the same team.  There is no glory for God when we, His children, who are called by His name, are content to live at odds with one another.

As I would say to my toddlers, "That is NOT okay."

All that to say, I am grateful that God makes me painfully aware of my sin, my self-righteousness, my unforgiveness.  Grateful because it keeps me from fooling myself into believing that I am healed when I am not.  I like to think I'm good at fooling myself.  God's got my number though.  Thank God.

In Honor of My Birthday

If we aren't very careful, I think it is very easy to live a topsy-turvey, life-upside-down kind of life, spending time on pursuits that don't matter at the sake of the things in our lives that do.

Perhaps I am just being philosophical because it is my birthday, but I have come to realize that the ability to waste your life is something that comes far too easily for most of us, while LIVING your life, the full, abundant life we are called to live, takes incredible effort.

I made  a list of the things that have wasted my life (and discarded it ceremoniously).  

These are the things that are worth living for:

My deep faith that challenges me, rescues me, protects me and sustains me;

My husband and children, who are the best part of me;

My family that loves me unconditionally, and 

My treasured friends (they know who they are, I don't have to name them) who have weathered life's storms alongside me and still call me friend.

In honor of my birthday, I say to you

LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST.  

All that to say, that is all.  Carry on.  

You Are Not Invisible

I believe God speaks to me, really to all of us, as though we are preschoolers. He repeats Himself, over and over and over because we learn best through repetition. 

Quite some time ago, I saw Zephaniah 3:17 on a large screen during a church service.  The message in that moment was comforting, but I didn't think about it much beyond that. Later that same day, I saw it printed again, and just a few days later, I saw it stuck on a bulletin board in a friend's office.

Zephaniah 3:17

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

I saw this verse over, and over, and over.  So I paid attention.  I read it slower and I deeply personalized it.  

I wrote:

"Carol, your God is living among you. You aren't invisible, nor are the circumstances of your life. He is right there. He is mighty to save you. He's strong. He can handle all of this. He will take delight in you, Carol, because He adores you and you are incredibly precious to Him. With his love, he will calm all of your fears. His love is all encompassing, and it's the safest place you can go. So go. Find peace there. And when you get there, you will hear Him rejoicing over you with songs. He's singing over you. Remember when you used to sing over your children when they were little? Remember how that calmed them? They could feel how much you loved them. They felt safe. He's singing over you now, Carol."

All that to say, my Savior, He can move the mountains.

For the Love of Pink and Glitter, It's Give Friday!

I remember the first time I walked past Sweet & Sassy and saw a store full of pink and glitter, all I could think was, "Man, am I glad I don't have little girls!"

But . . . we all know how THAT turned out!

And yet, even once I had girls, I totally didn't get the attraction.  Okay . . . so you can take your little girl in there, let her get a pedicure, or a fancy hair do, have a party with all her friends, and ride in a pink limo?  "And why is that special again," I asked myself.

For the Love of Pink and Glitter

Complete outfit from Sweet and Sassy (oh my gosh!)

Then one day, we went in to visit.  And the magic of pink and glitter came to life in our household!

The stage, the runway, the costumes, the music . . . there was pretty much nothing they didn't love about Sweet & Sassy.  And the love affair was born.

Discovering the stage and the runway!

We have spent many, many hours at Sweet & Sassy. We've gotten our ears pierced, picked out our school backpacks, bought birthday outfits, had manicures,  (I know, but they're little girls ...it was a special treat!) gotten haircuts; we've done it all (well, they've never ridden in the pink limo, but someday!)


And I have to confess, I used to have a real attitude about stores like this.  But there is something special about Sweet & Sassy, something magical.

So, when the girls are old enough (they're still a little young), I'm sure they'll want to have a birthday party there. And we probably will, because it's pink and it's glittery and they're little girls.

In honor of the goodness of pink and glitter, I am giving away an awesome gift package to Sweet & Sassy. When I asked the owner at Sweet & Sassy if she'd donate a package for my blog, I expected she would donate a sweet little manicure, so I was shocked at how generous she was!  And guess who benefits? (Sadly, neither of my girls . . .)  

But you do!  woot woot!

It's Give Friday!

What are you going to win? Something awesome! You will win the "Everything Spa Package" which is valued at $90 and includes:

• mini-mani & mini-pedi 
• mini-facial 
• sweet hand treatment 
• 2 nail arts 
• ring & toe ring, and a 
• create your own lotion and sugar scrub

But You Gotta Enter to Win 

I'm making it simple today.  Comment here and go like Sweet & Sassy on Facebook (I even provided the link for goodness sake!) And, because it's in The Woodlands, TX, you pretty much have to be fairly local to win or willing to drive a long way. :)

All that to say, I hope you love Sweet & Sassy as much as my girls do.  But be warned, you WILL come out all glittery.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  And have fun!

THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY!

Wandering in the Desert

Sometimes I wonder why it is such a struggle to find a church.  I remember when I used to be on staff at a church,  I was always surprised at the people who would say things like, "We could just never get connected," or "No one really reached out to us."  I knew our church was friendly, so I didn't understand why they couldn't find community with us.

But here we are, 8 months out from me losing my job, still struggling to find a church.

We've been attending the same church for most of the time since we left, but just couldn't decide if it was the right place for us.  It's not that the people weren't friendly.  They were very friendly.  And it's not that our kids don't love it.  They do.  We just can't seem to get connected.

Maybe we thought we'd fall right back into our old "friend circles" (since we were members there for 10 years before we moved to Georgia).  But that hasn't happened.  We see familiar faces, and everyone is nice, they speak to us, but we aren't "in" if that makes any sense at all.  Maybe I'm just rambling.  Maybe I don't exactly know what I'm expecting.

Invites for lunch after church?

Get togethers with the girls?

People wanting us to join their small groups?

I don't know.

And maybe that's the majority of the problem.  I don't know what I want.  Or Mike doesn't know what he wants.  Or together we don't know what we want.

We thought maybe we were just wanting a service with a more contemporary flair (we've been in that style of church for over 9 years, so we thought maybe that's what we needed).  And yet, we visited a church for the last two weeks that has a very contemporary flair and it wasn't "it" either.  And honestly there was a much stronger sense of the Spirit of God moving at the less contemporary service.

Clearly the music style has nothing to do with it.

The girls love the church we've gone to for the last two weeks. And the people are very friendly. Someone even invited us to join their small group (on our very first visit, and it was a Facebook friend, no less! . . . Thanks Todd.)

And yet, I still feel lost.  I miss my community.  And at the core, that's my problem.  I know it is.  I'm just not really sure what to do about it.

All that to say, perhaps I am being overly transparent today.  I think I'm just tired of wandering.  I don't know how the children of God did it for so many years.  (Jesus, I'd like to not do it that long, please. It's exhausting.)  

How to Save a Life

Bea, Tony & Me in Hawaii
(You'd think I would look happier! HA!)

When Mike and I were first married (and for many years afterwards) he worked with a really great group of guys, the leader of which is a man named Tony Smith.  

There are a million great stories I could tell you about Tony (and his sweet wife, Bea) from those days, but today's story far outweighs any from our past.

4 years ago, Tony became suddenly and gravely ill. Were it not for the compassion of complete strangers, he would not be here today.  It really is that simple.  Here is his story in his own words.

"This journey started over 4 years ago, 3+ years trying to figure out what it was.  Finally I went to MD Anderson and they ruled out everything but Cirrhosis.  There was no cancer at that time. 

I have never been a drinker, no illegal drug use, no tattoos, no hepatitis, . . . they had to name it non-specific cause Cirrhosis.  I ended up at St Luke's.  They  told me in one year or about, it most likely would move from Cirrhosis to Carcinoma of the Liver.  One year to the month, it was diagnosed as cancer. I was accepted on the transplant program, and waiting began . . . going each quarter for bone scans,  blood work, and MRI's.   If the cancer had ever moved from the liver, I would have been out of the program and sent home to make final arrangements.

Thanks to the prayers of everyone I knew, and many I did not, and the love of Jesus Christ, it did not move, (the cancer), and the liver came in time."

Tony underwent an incredible liver transplant that required St. Luke's to use 12 units of blood, another gift of life given to him by the people who donated that blood. 13 strangers gave Tony life.  13 complete strangers.

I think sometimes we take for granted how simple it really is to help save someone's life. 

You can two very simple things.  

1.  Indicate that you will be an organ donor on your driver's license and make sure your family knows your wishes as well, and

2.  Give blood  

I asked Tony what we could do to help him, and he said that he would love to replace the blood that was given to him.  Well, we can't give 12 units of blood ourselves, but I told him I had an awful lot of friends (generous friends) that might want to give the gift of life to someone.  (Don't make me a liar people.)

If you would like to donate, you can go to the blood center at St. Luke's and donate in his name, Anthony G. Smith, 08/14/1952.  Maybe we'll run into you there!

All that to say, it's Give Friday. Would you please do me a very personal favor today and give blood in Tony's name?  And if you do, will you email me at thatcaroljones@gmail.com and let me know you did?

Update: I was asked if people could give blood at any St. Luke's.  I'm not sure, so just call them and ask before you go!