Wandering in the Desert

Sometimes I wonder why it is such a struggle to find a church.  I remember when I used to be on staff at a church,  I was always surprised at the people who would say things like, "We could just never get connected," or "No one really reached out to us."  I knew our church was friendly, so I didn't understand why they couldn't find community with us.

But here we are, 8 months out from me losing my job, still struggling to find a church.

We've been attending the same church for most of the time since we left, but just couldn't decide if it was the right place for us.  It's not that the people weren't friendly.  They were very friendly.  And it's not that our kids don't love it.  They do.  We just can't seem to get connected.

Maybe we thought we'd fall right back into our old "friend circles" (since we were members there for 10 years before we moved to Georgia).  But that hasn't happened.  We see familiar faces, and everyone is nice, they speak to us, but we aren't "in" if that makes any sense at all.  Maybe I'm just rambling.  Maybe I don't exactly know what I'm expecting.

Invites for lunch after church?

Get togethers with the girls?

People wanting us to join their small groups?

I don't know.

And maybe that's the majority of the problem.  I don't know what I want.  Or Mike doesn't know what he wants.  Or together we don't know what we want.

We thought maybe we were just wanting a service with a more contemporary flair (we've been in that style of church for over 9 years, so we thought maybe that's what we needed).  And yet, we visited a church for the last two weeks that has a very contemporary flair and it wasn't "it" either.  And honestly there was a much stronger sense of the Spirit of God moving at the less contemporary service.

Clearly the music style has nothing to do with it.

The girls love the church we've gone to for the last two weeks. And the people are very friendly. Someone even invited us to join their small group (on our very first visit, and it was a Facebook friend, no less! . . . Thanks Todd.)

And yet, I still feel lost.  I miss my community.  And at the core, that's my problem.  I know it is.  I'm just not really sure what to do about it.

All that to say, perhaps I am being overly transparent today.  I think I'm just tired of wandering.  I don't know how the children of God did it for so many years.  (Jesus, I'd like to not do it that long, please. It's exhausting.)  


  1. i TOTALLY understand what you are saying. and yes, you are being transparent, but people need to hear this so those of us who are wandering don't all feel like something is totally wrong with us. :) we have been at the same church for over 12 years. we loved it there, we were connected, but now, things have changed, we are not connected and we can;t seem to find where we fit in. Its hard too, honestly, because we have been there for so long, but yet we feel like we jsut breeze in and breeze out. We have been ushers, greeters, worked in elementary age, nursery, middle school and high school. We know other families who have been there half the time or even less than we have, but they seem to "fit in". The pastor is wonderful, the worship is amazing, but yet we wonder. Maybe I will ask the Lord, why and where. Thanks again, for being transparent, we all need to see others are struggling with the same things. Thanks CJ. ( however, on a final note, if you wld move bac to Ga, we wld LOVE to have a small group and "live life" with you all again!!!) #missourjonesfamily

  2. Carol, sometimes God can put you on a journey to seek him. Your doing the right things by checking out other churches.The right one is waiting. Maybe try one that you don't no anyone at (if possible) lol. When God sometimes puts you to a test, the answer is just in front of us, but we look over it looking further then we should. We all have been there. It will be revealed. God's timing.. Keep on keeping on.

  3. I've been struggling for a VERY long time with this. Especially since I've moved four hours away from my hometown and church I've been a part of for as long as I can remember. My husband was raised in a Catholic church, which make it even more difficult for us. We are hoping to find a nice medium between Catholic and VERY Baptist (if there is such a thing). Still praying that God shows us where we NEED to be.

    1. Hey Brittany, I just saw this. Praying for your heart and family to find community.


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