I watched this couple argue this morning. It was quite comical. They were arguing about how long they would stay where they were going. One person wanted to stay overnight so they could visit friends. The other person wanted to go home and not stay the night. The argument itself was fairly boring.
But ah, the methodology was brilliant. The girl used the method I like to call the "pesky fly" approach. Every time the guy would say something, she would say something else, a rebuttal, and she would say it quickly. Then the guy would try to restate his case, but she would buzz in with another rebuttal. The guy would remain silent for a moment, continuing to focus on what he was focusing on when the girl buzzed in again. buzzzz "but if we drive there and drive back, we're just going to have to drive back again tomorrow for the wedding." buzzzzz "but if we stay the night, I can have lunch with so and so." buzzzzz "but if we come back we're going to waste gas." buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz The pesky fly approach. It worked. He kept swatting at her rebuttals, but finally just gave in.
Other methods I use are the email approach. My husband and I argue by email. I know that is weird, but we can take our emotions out of the way and get to the core of what is really bugging us." Sometimes I use the silent approach (but if you know me very well, I don't do this one very well.) Sometimes I use the "withholding" approach . . . you know what I mean . . .wink. I'm not too good at that one either! TMI?
All that to say, I enjoyed watching their interaction with one another. It was educational. What is your most effective method?
Bored and Boring
So, I got up this morning and did all my usual morning stuff, minus showering, brushing my teeth, doing my hair, puting on make-up . . . okay, so actually the only "usual" stuff I did was make coffee, eat breakfast, and get online.
But, I was trying to decide what I would blog about and in my boredom, and analysis of my boring life, I decided to redo the "look" of my blog. I like it. It took me over an hour. Seriously. I AM boring. :) But I like the results of my boredom.
I was going to write about something in my life, but as my husband pointed out to me the other night, who really wants to read that stuff. That got me going into another why-do-people-blog thoughtfest. I blog because it makes me happy. It is therapeutic. It is fun. I don't even really care if people do read, but of course I like it when they do.
All that to say, I hope you like the new look. I do. And Sarah does. She was bored too, so I used her as a design consultant. Anything you don't like . . .it was probably Sarah's fault. tee hee.
But, I was trying to decide what I would blog about and in my boredom, and analysis of my boring life, I decided to redo the "look" of my blog. I like it. It took me over an hour. Seriously. I AM boring. :) But I like the results of my boredom.
I was going to write about something in my life, but as my husband pointed out to me the other night, who really wants to read that stuff. That got me going into another why-do-people-blog thoughtfest. I blog because it makes me happy. It is therapeutic. It is fun. I don't even really care if people do read, but of course I like it when they do.
All that to say, I hope you like the new look. I do. And Sarah does. She was bored too, so I used her as a design consultant. Anything you don't like . . .it was probably Sarah's fault. tee hee.
Stinkin' Thinkin'
I opened my computer the other day and clicked the big blue "e" to get online. On my home computer, my home page is set to yahoo (why, I do not know, as I rarely use yahoo anymore, but I guess old habits are hard to break). Anyhoo (that was for you Tracey), in the YAHOO News section, a title caught my eye. It said something along the lines of "Changing Your Negative Thoughts and Changing Your Life." I don't remember the exact title, but it was something like that.
So, I open the story, which I almost never do, because they usually end up being something stupid and I lament that I can never get those 2 minutes of life back . . . but THIS TIME, I was glad I read the article. The writer suggests that our brains are hardwired to remember negative situations, because that allows us to survive. I sort of believe this. He suggests that as we collect and store new information (accommodation and assimilation for you scientists out there) our brain creates "neural pathways" or "ruts" in layman's terms. If our thoughts tend to be more negative than positive over time, then we create pathways to a certain area of our brain that creates a chemical that increases the likelihood that we will be negative again, or that we will have negative thinking again. It's sort of like we train our brain.
The author was quick to differentiate between negative thinking and critical thinking. He says critical thinking is when you look at a problem and recognize that it is a problem but quickly try to determine how the problem can best be solved. Negative thinking is recognizing a problem and saying, "That's never going to get better, so why am I bothering?" Do you see the difference?
I was seriously fascinated by the thought that I can create a new "rut" in my brain by making myself think positively. When I think positively, the pathway that thought takes causes my brain to create a chemical that makes me feel euphoria (extreme happiness). It's called serotonin.
So what about all those old ruts in your brain? That's the cool thing about your brain. You really can teach an old dog new tricks. Every time you have a negative thought, stop your thinking, say, "Nope, that is a negative thought" and think a positive one. It's like learning to do a cartwheel. At first, it feels funky. But pretty soon, you're a pro because your brain remembers how to do it, anticipates the movement, and sends neurological signals to actually PRECEED the movement. How cool is that? Once you have trained your brain to think positively, your brain will actually send out neurological signals in advance that will anticipate your positive reaction and release serotonin. I'll bet this is what Paul was talking about when he said to the Corinthians to take every thought captive "fitting every loose thought, impulse and emotion, into a life structured by the love of Christ."
All that to say, I know I'm a geek sometimes. But I love that about myself. (See how positive that was?!)
So, I open the story, which I almost never do, because they usually end up being something stupid and I lament that I can never get those 2 minutes of life back . . . but THIS TIME, I was glad I read the article. The writer suggests that our brains are hardwired to remember negative situations, because that allows us to survive. I sort of believe this. He suggests that as we collect and store new information (accommodation and assimilation for you scientists out there) our brain creates "neural pathways" or "ruts" in layman's terms. If our thoughts tend to be more negative than positive over time, then we create pathways to a certain area of our brain that creates a chemical that increases the likelihood that we will be negative again, or that we will have negative thinking again. It's sort of like we train our brain.
The author was quick to differentiate between negative thinking and critical thinking. He says critical thinking is when you look at a problem and recognize that it is a problem but quickly try to determine how the problem can best be solved. Negative thinking is recognizing a problem and saying, "That's never going to get better, so why am I bothering?" Do you see the difference?
I was seriously fascinated by the thought that I can create a new "rut" in my brain by making myself think positively. When I think positively, the pathway that thought takes causes my brain to create a chemical that makes me feel euphoria (extreme happiness). It's called serotonin.
So what about all those old ruts in your brain? That's the cool thing about your brain. You really can teach an old dog new tricks. Every time you have a negative thought, stop your thinking, say, "Nope, that is a negative thought" and think a positive one. It's like learning to do a cartwheel. At first, it feels funky. But pretty soon, you're a pro because your brain remembers how to do it, anticipates the movement, and sends neurological signals to actually PRECEED the movement. How cool is that? Once you have trained your brain to think positively, your brain will actually send out neurological signals in advance that will anticipate your positive reaction and release serotonin. I'll bet this is what Paul was talking about when he said to the Corinthians to take every thought captive "fitting every loose thought, impulse and emotion, into a life structured by the love of Christ."
All that to say, I know I'm a geek sometimes. But I love that about myself. (See how positive that was?!)
Organ Donor?
Pretty much most of my life, childhood, teenagehood (is that a word?) and adulthood, I have spent some time in the hospital. I have had more organs removed than I can remember. I have had all kinds of tests, procedures, and surgeries in my lifetime. So the idea that someone can live to be over 50 and have been in the hospital only once is quite a foreign idea to me.
But that is my sweet husband. Other than being 6 years old and having his tonsils removed, he has never been hospitalized. He's never had a broken bone, or any other serious medical condition. Until now. Today he had his gallbladder removed. He came through it like a champ, and though he didn't want me to, I felt it should be documented via photography. Sadly, all I had was my camera phone.
He is peacefully sleeping in a drugged stupor right now. :) Ah modern chemistry.
All that to say, Mike has lost an organ, and gained a few scars.
I Wish I Was Joking
It was a beautiful day today in Texas. The weather was warm, but not miserably hot and humid as it typically is. The skies were blue, and the few clouds that were there, were light and puffy, and very, very white. So I chose to wear my new plaid cloth sandals. (very cute, J. Crew, on sale!)
As I went to the hospital to see the newest baby born to our church family, the skies started turning a little bit gray. And as I was in the hospital visiting, the once billowy white clouds turned a menacing black. Quickly I prayed over the new baby and said my goodbyes. I made it to the truck before the rain started. By the time I arrived at my destination though, it was pouring buckets, or torrents, or sheets of rain, or whatever means a helluva lot of rain to you. My friend Cathy Wolfe used to say, "Man it was a frog choker, I mean a real trash mover." Anyway, it was raining hard. And they were big BIG drops of rain.
When I got into the parking lot of my office, Cindy jumped out of the truck and ran to her car to get us two umbrellas. I was very grateful that I would not be getting soaked. As I walked quickly to my office, covered by Cindy's umbrella, I noticed that my new shoes were getting soaked. But at least the rest of me would be dry. Then suddenly, I realized that my . . .um . . . "backside" was getting wet. I could not figure out how this was possible, as I had an umbrella over my head.
Sadly, I realized it was because my bootayyy was sticking out of the umbrella's area of coverage. The rest of me was tucked nicely under the umbrella. But the apple bottom jeans were definitely out in the rain, if you know what I mean.
All that to say, my butt got soaked. While this would probably bother most women, and probably should have bothered me, I got a pretty good laugh at the fact that my butt would not fit under the umbrella.
As I went to the hospital to see the newest baby born to our church family, the skies started turning a little bit gray. And as I was in the hospital visiting, the once billowy white clouds turned a menacing black. Quickly I prayed over the new baby and said my goodbyes. I made it to the truck before the rain started. By the time I arrived at my destination though, it was pouring buckets, or torrents, or sheets of rain, or whatever means a helluva lot of rain to you. My friend Cathy Wolfe used to say, "Man it was a frog choker, I mean a real trash mover." Anyway, it was raining hard. And they were big BIG drops of rain.
When I got into the parking lot of my office, Cindy jumped out of the truck and ran to her car to get us two umbrellas. I was very grateful that I would not be getting soaked. As I walked quickly to my office, covered by Cindy's umbrella, I noticed that my new shoes were getting soaked. But at least the rest of me would be dry. Then suddenly, I realized that my . . .um . . . "backside" was getting wet. I could not figure out how this was possible, as I had an umbrella over my head.
Sadly, I realized it was because my bootayyy was sticking out of the umbrella's area of coverage. The rest of me was tucked nicely under the umbrella. But the apple bottom jeans were definitely out in the rain, if you know what I mean.
All that to say, my butt got soaked. While this would probably bother most women, and probably should have bothered me, I got a pretty good laugh at the fact that my butt would not fit under the umbrella.
Gonna Have to Face It I'm Addicted to Blogs
I read a lot. I read books. I read magazines. I read emails. Even the dorky forwards. I read junk mail. And I most CERTAINLY read blogs. I read tons of them. I have a few that are my favorites. But when my "favorites" don't blog for a while, I read some of the other ones that I don't get to as often.
Being the blog connoisseur that I am, I have noticed something about blogs. Most people blog very mundane things. But in their mundane, commonplace blogs, you get a picture of who they are and what is going on in their lives, and what is important to them. Some people blog their thoughts, what keeps them up at night, their faith, their trials in life, their fears. And some blog about controversy.
The "what" of blogs really does vary from blog to blog. But here is the common thread that I have found in blogs. The commenters. People rarely comment on the mundane, unless it strikes a personal chord with them. They sometimes comment on funny things like road rage or eating too much, or bad experiences in restaurants. But post a blog about anxiety in your life, something you are struggling with, something that gives people the opportunity to give advice or tell you how they "know how you feel" or something that stirs up a little controversy, and EVERYBODY (slight overstatement) has something to contribute.
I recently commented on a friend's blog, (probably for the same reasons listed above) and the commentary that ensued on her blog was a hailstorm of anger, frustration, advice, defensiveness from pretty much everyone commenting (myself included), and lots of other emotions. I don't know that I have ever been personally singled out on a comment before, so it was a new experience and not one I relished. But it did teach me something. Be careful what you write. No one can see your facial expressions. They can't hear your voice. And in the case of blogs, some of the people who are reading your words, don't know your heart.
All that to say, I think I am going to take a "commenting" hiatus. But that doesn't mean you should! wink.
Being the blog connoisseur that I am, I have noticed something about blogs. Most people blog very mundane things. But in their mundane, commonplace blogs, you get a picture of who they are and what is going on in their lives, and what is important to them. Some people blog their thoughts, what keeps them up at night, their faith, their trials in life, their fears. And some blog about controversy.
The "what" of blogs really does vary from blog to blog. But here is the common thread that I have found in blogs. The commenters. People rarely comment on the mundane, unless it strikes a personal chord with them. They sometimes comment on funny things like road rage or eating too much, or bad experiences in restaurants. But post a blog about anxiety in your life, something you are struggling with, something that gives people the opportunity to give advice or tell you how they "know how you feel" or something that stirs up a little controversy, and EVERYBODY (slight overstatement) has something to contribute.
I recently commented on a friend's blog, (probably for the same reasons listed above) and the commentary that ensued on her blog was a hailstorm of anger, frustration, advice, defensiveness from pretty much everyone commenting (myself included), and lots of other emotions. I don't know that I have ever been personally singled out on a comment before, so it was a new experience and not one I relished. But it did teach me something. Be careful what you write. No one can see your facial expressions. They can't hear your voice. And in the case of blogs, some of the people who are reading your words, don't know your heart.
All that to say, I think I am going to take a "commenting" hiatus. But that doesn't mean you should! wink.
Rank Has Its Privileges
I am the Lead Children's Pastor at my church. That is a pretty lofty title, and with it comes a tremendous amount of responsibility. Under my "umbrella of authority" (I love to say that . . . "umbrella of authority) are all of the Children's Ministry staff from all of our campuses (4 to date). It would be pretty easy to get the big head in a job like this, let me say.
On top of this amazing title, I have a private office (well, on most days it is private). If people want to see me, that have to PLAN on coming to see me. I am situated sort of "out of the way" so very few fly-bys happen with regard to visitors. I have my very own conference table, my own refrigerator, my own private window overlooking a treed gazebo. (I know you are all waiting for the punch line). All kidding aside, I really do have a nice office.
But in the keeping-me-humble department, my office is situated directly behind the men's restroom . On top of that, my return air vent goes directly into said men's restroom. So everything that happens in there, and I do mean everything, I hear. I hear cell phone conversations (it is surprising how much men talk on their cell phones while doing both #1 and #2). I hear newspaper pages turning. I hear men having arguments with their wives. I hear ALL the sounds. ewww . . . yuck.
Afternoons are particularly harsh in my office. That "post lunch" phenomenon takes place and there is a steady flow in and out of the men's room, followed by a steady flow of aroma into my office. When people do come to see me, they are often greeted by this odor. I used to try to explain the origin of the smell, but now I just let people think it is me. It takes less time that way. Plus, it keeps the return visits to a minimum. :)
All that to say, the saying "Rank has it's privileges" has a whole new meaning.
On top of this amazing title, I have a private office (well, on most days it is private). If people want to see me, that have to PLAN on coming to see me. I am situated sort of "out of the way" so very few fly-bys happen with regard to visitors. I have my very own conference table, my own refrigerator, my own private window overlooking a treed gazebo. (I know you are all waiting for the punch line). All kidding aside, I really do have a nice office.
But in the keeping-me-humble department, my office is situated directly behind the men's restroom . On top of that, my return air vent goes directly into said men's restroom. So everything that happens in there, and I do mean everything, I hear. I hear cell phone conversations (it is surprising how much men talk on their cell phones while doing both #1 and #2). I hear newspaper pages turning. I hear men having arguments with their wives. I hear ALL the sounds. ewww . . . yuck.
Afternoons are particularly harsh in my office. That "post lunch" phenomenon takes place and there is a steady flow in and out of the men's room, followed by a steady flow of aroma into my office. When people do come to see me, they are often greeted by this odor. I used to try to explain the origin of the smell, but now I just let people think it is me. It takes less time that way. Plus, it keeps the return visits to a minimum. :)
All that to say, the saying "Rank has it's privileges" has a whole new meaning.
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