Day 38: Special

I have special needs children.  That is a reality that I long ago accepted.  Before the age of two they had suffered abuse and atrocities that no child adult should ever have to endure . . . in a lifetime.  Abuse and atrocities that caused a hard-wiring malfunction in their rapidly forming brains.

There is much written about the importance of early life experiences and the impact on the young human brain.  The simple version is that an INCREDIBLE amount of wiring is taking place in a human brain during its first year of life.  Lots of something called "assimilation and accommodation." And this wiring determines how a person will respond to life, for their entire life.

For them, short of God's divine miraculous intervention, they will respond to life differently than a baby who received nothing but loving, nurturing care.

Their needs were not met.  They did not experience unconditional love.  They were not fed when they were hungry.  They were not held when they were frightened or hurting.  They were not cleaned when they were dirty.  They did not receive the most basic of care.  They were not talked to.  They were not given a warm place to sleep.  They were not protected.  The list could go on and on and on.

So they have special needs.

On most days, you would not know that they have special needs.  They are happy, easy-going, carefree little toddlers.

But on some days, that is not so.  Some days are hard.  Some days are very, very hard.

And on those days, the reason for my calling to be their mommy is clear.

My calling is to love them.  To hold them.  To nurture them.  To look beyond their actions and see their hearts, to know their story and to fiercely love them beyond it.

All that to say, yes, they are special.  Special beyond words.  Special beyond wiring.