Surrendered

I love worship songs. (I also love to worship Jesus, so please don't get all hyper-spiritual on me and leave comments about how I should love worship and not worship songs.) But as I was saying, I love worship songs . . . especially the power ballads. I don't know if that is the technical musical term for them, but you know the ones that build and build and build and then seem to just explode and make you want to fly right up to heaven? Those are the ones I love. I love to sing them in church. I love to play them super loudly in the car and sing like no one else is listening. This usually leads to me driving with one hand on the wheel and one eye open, while the other eye is closed and the other hand is raised in the air (I am sure people think I am CRAZY when they pass me!)

One of my new favorites is The Stand by Hillsong United. We sang it last night at church. And even though I have heard it a lot of times, the words seemed to go way deeper into me than just my brain, deeper than just my heart. I don't know what they permeated, but I would say they permeated my conscious mind. They went beyond my ability to think about them and they hit something within me that made me hold my breath for just a moment. The chorus says,

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

I am sure this has happened to you before, but you know when you are singing a song, and then all the sudden, the meaning of those words hits you and you cannot sing anymore because of the weight of the words? I am still thinking about that moment. The moment when I sang, "So I'll stand, my soul Lord to you surrendered, all I am is yours."

All that to say, my soul is surrendered, but can I really say, "All I am is yours?" I don't know.