Catalyst: Andy Stanley - Known Survivor

Andy Stanley,                                                                         Sr. Senior Pastor, North Point Church

Known Survivor                                                         Surviving Your Appetite for Known

Catalyst is known for a lot of things. Leadership, Powerful worship, incredible messages. skinny jeans and hipsters. So it should come as no surprise, that Andy Stanley, Mr. Session One himself, would throw all grammatical convention to the wind and use the word KNOWN as every form of speech possible.

Everyone has an appetite for known.

If you feed your appetite for known it grows. And no matter how much you feed it, you will never have enough known.  You never fully satisfy your appetite, no matter what.

You can overfeed your appetite for known, and if you aren’t careful, the need will eventually tip you over.

There is no amount of known that will ever be enough to satisfy your need to be known.

So How much known is enough?  You will never have enough known.

The Three Laws of Know

What’s applauded as exceptional the first time will be expected the next time.

Your desire to be known will drive you to do things you never ever thought you’d do until you get a little bit of recognition.  A little bit of known. And then it’s expected you’ll keep on doing it.

Applause is intoxicating

Those most applauded will feel the most entitled to it.

You think you should get something no body else should get.

Applause is addictive

We start looking for it

We start manufacturing it

And if it gets out of hand, you become a victim of known.

So here’s the tension:

To lead, you must be known.  You have been called to be known.   The question is, how do we keep known from ruining us?

The Answer Is In The Bible

Mark Chapter 4

The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to hear John the Baptist (thousands and thousands of people)

He goes from obscurity to everyone coming to see him.  Suddenly he is a phenomenon.  He is known.

Everyone asks him if he is the Messiah or Elijah.  He repeatedly answers “no” and they ask him “WHO are you?”  He said, “I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord.”

He was saying, "I am a directional sign. I’m just here to point you in the right direction.”

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said,  “Look. . . the lamb of God comes to take away the sins of the world.”

It happened again the next day.  And when John’s two disciples heard him say, “look” they looked and followed Jesus.  His disciples left him and followed Jesus.

His other disciples came to him and said, “Rabbi (talking to John the Baptist) that man (Jesus) who was with you yesterday, he’s over there and he’s baptizing and everyone is going to him.”

Basically they were saying, “He’s totally stealing your show.”

John’s disciples were worried that they were losing followers.

But Here Was John’s Profound Answer because he understood known.

“A person can receive only what is given him from heaven.”

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.

He was saying, “Do you think I am known for any other reason than because God ordained that I would be known so that He can be known?” 

What is the Application for Us?

In our lives and our minds, as long as we are growing, succeeding, doing well at work, have perfect kids, etc. it’s all for the glory of God.  But when things go downhill, we start going into problem solving mode.  We can’t lose our “known.”

But if we could remember that we receive “known” because we can only receive from heaven what heaven decides to give.

Want to survive being known?

Remember who it’s from and who it’s for.  Your appetite for known will never be satisfied by a number.

All that to say, wouldn’t it be so great if we could be so blessed by the amount of known that Jesus gave us and didn’t get jacked up because of it . . . didn’t think we were something special because of it?  Then we’d never have to worry about losing it because we’d know we’d done what we were supposed to with the amount of Known that God gave us.

Never forget that the applause isn’t for you.

32 Years to the Same Man?

I was talking with a young woman a few weeks ago about marriage and conflict and conflict resolution.  

She asked me, "How have you done it for 32 years?  Stayed married?"

I said, "That's easy.  When I have days that are incredibly good or devastatingly bad, there is one person I want to run to, and that's my husband."

Mike and I are 32 years older than we were on the day we married.    In some ways, we are completely different people than we were then.  People change.  Life changes us, often in ways we would never expect.

And the truth is, some days marriage is hard.  After 32 years, I am often surprised that we argue about the same damn things we argued about in our first year of marriage.  Seriously.  We do.  Arghhh!

On more than one occasion, my husband has not lived up to my very high expectations of him, and I am quite certain that I have failed to meet his expectations as well.

 And yet . . .

One Thing Remains

At our core, one thing remains.  We love each other.  For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. That, my friends, is a rich love that withstands all the crap that life can throw at it.

There is a worship song I love that says,

Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out me


Though I know the words to the song are about Jesus, I believe this is the same love Mike and I pledged to each other on the day we were married. (I technically also pledged to obey. I'm not doing so well in that area! HA!)

I love you Mike Jones, for so many reasons.  I hope you always know how much I love you.

(And in case you forget, just think about how awesome I am in bed!)

All that to say, Happy Anniversary Mr. Man.  I love you.

Don't Let Anger Steal Another Minute of Your Life

I have written and rewritten this opening paragraph more times than I care to think about. I think my struggle has been to write about anger in a real, personal way that is both transparent and helpful and yet honors the right to privacy of others. Sometimes a fine line to walk, you know? 

In deciding to write a blog series about our human emotions, I knew there would be subjects that would be hard to talk about because they involve some fairly deep-rooted and not altogether pleasant memories for me. And at the end of the day, I don't know that I WANT to write about them, nor do I know if you NEED to read about them. 

So how do I write about anger?  I've written about anger before, many times in fact.  I've written about the physiological effects of anger. I've written about anger in your marriage.  I've even written about losing your temper (which isn't so much anger as it is a lack of self-control).

REAL ANGER

But the anger I am talking about is the kind that is deep-seated, often rooted in unforgiveness of an event or a lifetime of events.  The anger I'm talking about bubbles to the surface in ways that are often shocking to the person who is angry as well as the people caught in the wake of their anger.

It's that anger that is crushing and cruel and has one purpose; to seek retribution for the pain and injustice that caused its birth in the first place.

I've known many angry people in my lifetime.  Many.  Too many for one lifetime, to be sure. But every angry person I have ever known shares one characteristic; they have been hurt, badly and deeply, and they don't have a clue how to free themselves from the bondage of that pain.  So they lash out.  

Some lash out physically, some verbally, often without provocation, always with devastating effects to the people in their lives.

THE SOURCE OF ANGER

I learned from an incredible friend and valued mentor that the source of anger, real anger, is unforgiveness.  Getting to the place where you can identify the core of your own anger is very, very difficult and very, very necessary.

I recently had a long talk with a friend of mine who grew up in a very angry home.  He was beaten, shouted at, ridiculed and betrayed by the very people who should have been his protectors, a fact that birthed in him an anger that eventually consumed him and the people around him.

What I learned about him as we talked was that though he felt he had forgiven his abusers, he could rattle off a list of offenses so quickly and with such deep emotion, that it surprised even him.  

Find the source of the pain, find the source of the anger.

We hold onto anger because it makes us feel powerful and invincible.  It's our way of shouting, "I will never be hurt again." Maybe we don't realize that's what we're shouting, but it is.  

We hold onto anger (or more accurately, unforgiveness) because it lets us feel we hold a debt over those whom have hurt us, a debt from which they will not easily be released.  For in releasing them, we fear we give them power to hurt us all over again.

But anger is a thief.  It is born of unforgiveness and hatred, and it robs us of many things, the greatest of which is freedom.

If you are angry, I have to ask you, do you feel free or do you feel imprisoned?  

WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE?

Anytime I feel anger over something; deep, real anger, I have to ask myself, what am I so mad about?  Is this thing I am blowing up about the root of my anger, or a symptom of a deeper issue?  And once explored and defined, I ask myself these questions:

• Will I harbor bitterness and unforgiveness, or will I freely forgive others?
• Will I continue to be angry, or will I release myself from the bondage of my anger?

Indeed, will I choose bondage or freedom?  Because ultimately, that's what my choices will lead me to, either bondage or freedom.


But here is our promise:

Galatians 5:1 "But it is for freedom that Christ has set us free . . ."

Christ HAS set us . . . me . . . free.  Not Christ "will" set me free, but he "HAS" set me free. I am already free. Any bondage I choose to live in, is then, of my own choosing.

All that to say, I hope you will choose freedom over anger.  And once chosen, I hope you will walk in that freedom. For it is a choice. 

Bitterness is Like a Chili Dog

I was looking for a quote the other day for a client's blog when I came across this quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." 

Read it again slowly. It has more meaning that way. 

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.

Never, not ever, not on any day, in any moment, for even a second, should you allow yourself to give in to the call of bitterness; for she does, indeed, call out to you. She wants you. She seduces you to come to her side. But Bitterness is a liar and a cruel mistress.

Never succumb, nor give in, nor release yourself to, nor shackle yourself to Bitterness. She is cunning, and her chains are heavy and binding.

Never succumb to the temptation. Oh how easy it is to give way to the temptation. To allow yourself that short moment to justify your anger, to rationalize your hurt. 

How sweet the scent of Bitterness as she presses in, whispering seductively, "You deserve to be mad. No one has the right to treat you that way." 

Never succumb to the temptation of Bitterness. For once you have opened the door to her, she will not soon leave.

All that to say, bitterness is like a chili dog, it tastes good going down, but the lingering effects aren't good for you or anyone around you. 

(I thought I'd end sounding more like Carol Jones and less like Henry Ward Beecher.)

A Dog in the Gap?

I love this picture of Doug and Becky,
because when I think of them I just
DO NOT think of them hand-holding in
a rain storm. :)

I have been friends with Doug and Becky Jackson for a lot of years, over twenty years as a matter of fact. We met when Doug came to interview for a position as the Sr. Pastor at our church in Corpus Christi, and as I recall it, Becky and I were fast friends.  (Of course, I'm old and I could have my details completely wrong.  Maybe she just "grew" to love me. . . I'm like that . . . I grow on people.)

We have traversed many things together as friends, and I feel like I know a pretty good bit about these two people.  (I guess if you know someone for 20+ years, you SHOULD know a lot about them though). 

It’s funny, but of all the things I know about them, I would have NEVER pegged Doug Jackson as a dog person.  In fact, I might have said he had a bit of disdain for people who “needed” a dog in their life, so it’s funnier still that he now has a book called, "Dog in the Gap" (which is doing quite nicely on Amazon I might add!)

Doug and Landry with "Joey" as a puppy.

I remember when they got their dog, Joey, and Doug’s GRAND hesitation over the acquisition of said animal.  He felt certain that this pet purchase (which was to be a present for his son) would inevitably become his responsibility . . . a prediction that proved to be true, of course. (Any parent knows that’s how it goes.)

I also well remember the day that Becky called me to tell me that Doug was in a funk (to put it mildly) because Joey had died (several months earlier) and the apartments where they lived would not allow them to get another dog.

I love the look of mutual affection they each have!

Becky and Doug with Spurgeon

I won’t give away the whole story, but after Joey’s death (and their inability to have another pet) Doug began to volunteer at the local dog shelter, where he met Spurgeon, his SIZEABLE new friend, and where he began to formulate observations about man’s relationship with beast, and man’s relationship with God.

Doug and his co-author, Lisa Colon DeLay, each tell the story of their dogs, Spurgeon (a giant bullmastiff) and Luna (a beloved chocolate lab) beautifully weaving their stories of their pets into a deeper understanding of their relationship with the Creator of the universe.

What is most beautiful about 
Dog in the Gap is how it “probes questions about trust, mutuality, ownership, personal and spiritual growth, grief and joy through the acute lens of canine care-taking and guardianship.”

I believe Doug says it best in his introduction, “Man with dog,” writes C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves, “closes a gap in the universe.”  This book is written from inside the gap.

Written from inside the gap.  I love that.

All that to say, I can’t remember the last time I did a book review . . . but maybe I’ll do them more often.  In the meantime, go, read, enjoy.  And hey, do me a favor and leave them a review.  We authors really enjoy it when people tell us what they think of our writing. (wink)