Day 31: The Void

I attended the Celebration Service of Thatcher Caleb Paul yesterday, the sweet baby boy of Whitney and Eric Paul.  I am left with these thoughts.

Thatcher lived 2 months and 29 days, and to me, and I am sure more so to his parents and family, that is too short. 

But God, you hold time in your hand, and your timing is perfect.  And whether or not I understand your timing does not change the fact that it is perfect.

His 2 months and 29 days were a daily battle for life.  And I don't think that's fair, nor does my finite brain comprehend that there is a greater purpose in that.

But God, you are God, and there is purpose in everything that you give us and everything that you withhold from us.  And whether or not I understand your purpose, doesn't change the fact that all your ways are good and for our good and for your kingdom and for your glory.

Thatcher's parents are so young, and he was their firstborn.  I understand, Lord, (I think), that many will come to know you because of Thatcher, and because of the faith of his parents, but I wonder why ones so young must endure such an unbearable thing.

But God, you choose whom you will, to bear what you will.  And whether or not I understand your will does not change the fact that your will is perfect.

I have a million unanswered questions in my mind, and the void left where those answers belong, must be filled.  And my temptation is to fill that void with my own answers, or my anger, or my frustration.

But God, it is in that void that I find your grace.  Your grace fills the void in my mind, and in my heart.  And your word tells me that your grace is enough.

All that to say, "Lord, may your grace flood the hearts and minds and empty hollow places of all who knew and loved Thatcher Caleb Paul.  And my your grace be enough."