Day 23: Who's on First

I took the girls to the doctor on Wednesday.  Nitro still didn't seem to be herself, so I thought I should have her rechecked to be sure she was healing from her strep throat. 

After 40 minutes of waiting with twin 3 year olds, in an 8x10 room, devoid of any air conditioning, the doctor finally walked in (I had just gathered my things and my children and was on my way OUT the door.)  The following is the conversation that ensued:

Doctor:  Are you leaving?  Are you in a hurry?  Do you need to reschedule?
Me:  Am I in a hurry?  No.  But I've been in this tiny room, without AC, for over 40 minutes, with TWO three year olds.  I'm not in a hurry.  I just got tired of waiting.

Doctor:  Well, that's pediatrics.  We run behind.
ME:  I don't have a problem with having to wait.  I have a problem with having to wait under these conditions.

Doctor:  Well, when you come to the doctor's office, you should expect to wait.  That's part of the experience.
ME: If we're going to follow that logic, and you KNOW your patients are going to have to wait for a   lengthy period of time, why wouldn't you just allow them to wait out in the GIANT waiting room where there is an aquarium and a tv and air conditioning?

Doctor: (Completely ignoring me at this point)  Let's see.  We saw your daughter on the 19th.  She had strep. We gave her a 10 day supply of antibiotics.  She only completed 7 days.
Me:  She only completed 7 days worth because it's only been 7 days.

Doctor:  Why would I only give you 7 days worth?  I gave you 10 days.  Why did she not complete the course?
ME: It hasn't been 10 days yet.

Doctor:  That doesn't make sense.
ME:  What doesn't make sense?

Doctor:  That it hasn't been 10 days.
ME:  We came in on the 19th.  7 days later, here we are again.  Only 7 days have gone by.  Look at the calendar.  See?  Only 7 days.  It's the 26th today.  Only 7 days.

Doctor:  I still don't understand why you didn't complete the course of antibiotics.
ME: (silently screaming in my head!)


I would like you to keep in mind that at this point I have been in an 8x10 HOT room with 2 squirmy 3.5 year olds (one of whom is sick) for almost 50 minutes now, and I feel like I am in a scene from Who's On First?


Conversation Continues:

Doctor:  So, for some reason you didn't complete a 10 day course of antibiotics, and your daughter still doesn't feel well.  What are her symptoms?
ME:  She doesn't really have any, I just know she's not feeling well. I'm her mom.  We know these things.   She's not sleeping well, not eating well, and her voice sounds funny, like her throat is really swollen.

Doctor:  Any fever, drainage, ear ache, coughing, difficulty swallowing, constipation?
ME:  No.  (Though I didn't "totally" understand how constipation could be the problem?)

Doctor:  So other than "her voice sounds funny" (he makes air quotes and cops an INCREDIBLY condescending tone here) does your daughter have any real symptoms that would tell a doctor that she is actually sick?
ME:  Maybe you should just check her?

Doctor:  (Rolls his eyes - I fear I did not start off well with him - takes out a tongue depressor, looks at her throat) and says, "Whoa.  That's one bad looking throat."  (DUH!) 
Doctor:  I'm gonna redo her strep test.
ME:  Okay, sounds great.

Fast Forward.  The test is positive.

Doctor:  I'm going to give her a new antibiotic.  I suggest you give it to her all 10 days this time.

ARRGHGHHHH!!!!  Are you kidding me?!  Seriously, I wish I could make this stuff up!

All that to say, I thought you might enjoy a little humor from my day at the doctor.