Day 21: Well, Shut My Mouth

I have OCD.  (How's that for an opening sentence?)  The particular type of OCD that I have causes me to become obsessed when I have any level of relational conflict in my life.  It's why I am so quick to resolve conflict and why I try to keep such short accounts with folks.

If I suspect I have wronged you, I'm gonna ask you straight away, "Are we okay?"  or "Have I done something stupid I don't know about yet?"  or "Have I done something to offend you because I sense that something is up?"

If you know me well at all, you know that this is true.  Many people in my life tell me this is a wonderful quality in me.  I hope so.  I do know the Bible tells us to keep short accounts.

I think another manifestation of this "quick to keep short accounts thing" is that I ask far too many clarifying questions.  A coworker of mine (Ken Williams) once told me that there was a question quota and I had exceeded it!

People often say to me, "I never doubt where I stand with you." or "I never wonder what you are thinking."  or "You are very outspoken."

I can never decide if people say these things to me because I am TOO outspoken, or if it is because they admire this trait in me as well.

I am not quick to speak my opinion  . . . well, maybe I am . . . (shut up, Shauna, I can actually hear you laughing out loud right now!)

What I meant to say (before I was so rudely interrupted by Shauna's laughing) is that I'm not quick to offer advice, but I think perhaps I am too quick to weigh in and offer my opinion.  I'll tell you what I think, but I won't give you a moving forward plan unless you ask for it.

Of late, I have decided that not EVERYONE thinks this is a bonus, my incessant need to ask clarifying questions or my need to insure our relational harmony.  Of late, I have decided that not EVERYONE wants to know that I think we aren't "okay" relationally.  Of late, I have learned that in some instances, I should just assume we aren't okay, and get over it.  Or best yet, in some instances, I should just keep my mouth shut.

All that to say, mmhnmnmhmmmm (I can't say because my mouth is shut.)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing from you.