Day 13: Carpe Diem Jacob

Today is a noted and celebrated event in our family, yet a day that seemed somewhat empty.  Perhaps it is because the person of honor was not here to be noted or celebrated that made the day seem that way.  Perhaps because it came with a realization that your children grow up and move away and as a mom there just isn't a damn thing you can do about that, so you have to accept it and go with it, doing the best you can do to celebrate small things like their birthdays, even in their absence. (do not even think about judging my run on sentence!)

But I will celebrate nonetheless.  Yes.  I will celebrate the noted arrival of my last born son; the baby of my womb.  My sweet little towhead turned ginger turned brunette of a son, Jacob.  Oh how I love that boy. . . er  . . . man.  Just the thought of him makes me smile. 

So in honor of his birthday, and at his request (though I would have done it otherwise) here is his birthday post.

Mike and I had the perfect family plan in place.  We'd get married, wait three years, have a baby, which would be a boy, and then exactly three years later we would have another baby, and it would be a girl, and our family would be complete.

But God had other plans.  Better plans.

We got married, waited three years, had a baby boy, and then exactly 16 months later, had another baby, another boy.

I wish I could put into words exactly how my heart feels about Jacob.  There is a deep attachment I have to him, perhaps because he is the last baby that will ever grow inside my body.  Perhaps it is a deep attachment born of watching him wrestle with some incredibly hard things in life.  Or perhaps it is just because he makes me laugh, living life to the fullest and making me wish I had the guts to do the same (sometimes).

Jacob doesn't do anything small.   He doesn't just carpe' diem.  He carpe's every second of every diem.  Sometimes to his detriment, but often to his benefit, and to the benefit of others.

And he doesn't do anything halfway.  If he loves you, he really loves you.  If he's mad at you, he's really mad at you.  If he laughs, he laughs hard.  And if he cries (yes, he cries) he cries just as hard.

I love that about him.  His ability to feel what he feels.  To be authentic and real. 

One of my fondest memories of Jacob comes from a time period in his life when he was very, very sick.  We had just left a doctor's office where we  (he and I) were told that he most likely had a very rare form of muscular dystrophy.  We rode in silence for just a few minutes and then suddenly he looked over at me and he said, "You know what we need to do Mom?  We need to dance it out."  Then he turned up the radio and we danced (well, I drove), in the midst of incredible heartache, we danced.  And we laughed.  And we lived.  We carpe'd the hell out of the diem. 

All that to say, I love you Jacob Jones.  You make me happy.  Now please graduate from college and get a job where you can support me in my old age.  :)