Day 101: I Say Stupid Things

I don't know if you do this or not, but I say really stupid things when I am nervous.  I suppose most people say stupid things when they are nervous, but yesterday, I could have won an award for my stupidness.

I attended Christina's hometown wedding shower.  I was nervous about meeting all these people who have known her since birth.  I mean REALLY nervous.  Like, I bought a dress kinda nervous.  I don't do dresses.  But I bought one for this occasion.  And I even had it altered!  I mean, I REALLY wanted to make a good first impression.

I say stupid things when I'm nervous.  And I get nervous when I want to make a good impression.

Stupid #1
I am greeted at the door of a rather LARGE country home.  A home out in the middle of nowhere.  The lady who greets me says, "Did you have much trouble finding the place?"  "Well, I drove past it at first," I said.  (I should have stopped there.)  "But I drove so far that pretty soon all I saw was hicks and cows, so I turned around."  (Awesome.  I just said, 'hicks and cows' . . . what was I thinking?)

Stupid #2
One of the sweet hostesses and lifelong friend of Christina's mom says to me, "Oh, you're Zack's mom?  Is this just an answer to your prayers?"  (I'm not sure what she's talking about so after a moment of really awkward silence I realize she's talking about Christina?)  "Oh, you mean Christina?  She's okay."  (In my head that was really funny, but the look on the lady's face said otherwise.)

Stupid #3
Christina introduces me to her precious Grandmother and  tells me that it is her birthday.  So I bend down and greet her in my warmest and most welcoming voice and I say, "Well, happy birthday.  I'd sing Happy Birthday to you but it would probably make you drop dead."  (Seriously?  I actually said that.  Those words actually came out of my mouth.)

There were many more.  But this is enough to give you an idea of how painfully awkward I can be when I am nervous.

All that to say, I should have just kept stuffing cake balls in my mouth.  At least that way I wouldn't have had room for my FOOT!