Top 5 Ways to Get Comcast to Discount Your Bill

My stupid internet has been down off and on for about 4 days now.  It started on Saturday, and I probably should have called Comcast on Saturday, but I was so insanely frustrated at the thought of having to sit in the "Call and Hold" loop for 30 minutes that I kept putting it off.

Plus, I knew that the Customer Service Rep was going to want to walk me through the motions of "fixing" it, only to tell me at the end of a very annoying and long conversation that I needed to schedule an appointment for a technician to come out and fix my problem.

Finally, when I could take it no longer, I decided I'd call.  My call went something like this:

THEM:  "Bienvenido a Comcast."

ME:  "I don't speak Spanish."

THEM:  "This is Comcast.  Are you having problems with your cable or your internet?"

ME:  "My internet.  And I'd like to start this conversation by telling you that I appreciate the work you are about to do for me. I know your job is difficult and people are often frustrated when they call you.

I know you have a checklist that we have to go through, so I'd to take this opportunity to save us both some time, if that's okay.  

• I'd like to begin by telling you that I have checked for outages in my area.  There are none.
• Next, I'd like you to know that I have checked my power supply, and it is working.
• I have also checked all of my connections, wires, cables, etc. and they are all secure.
• I unplugged my modem for 30 seconds and then plugged it back in.  Then I unplugged my modem from the wall and from the router for 2 minutes.  After waiting the full 2 minutes, I plugged everything back in.  
• I have reset the modem and restarted my computer.

None of that has worked.  Is there anything else I should do before we schedule a technician?"

THEM:  (Laughed Out Loud) "Would Tuesday at 10 be a good time for you?"

Total conversation time: 3 minutes.  Including holding time.  SCORE!

Before I hung up I also said, "I appreciate your valuable help today.  You were incredibly professional. My frustration is not with you but with a service I pay a lot of money for each month.  Is there something Comcast can do to offset my bill this month for this inconvenience and time without service?"

THEM:  "Yes Ma'am.  I can credit your bill $25.  Would that be satisfactory?"

Couple secrets I know about Comcast (and the top 5 ways to get Comcast to help you quickly, with less frustration AND discount your bill!)

1. When you call in, select the option for Spanish.  Your wait time will be minimal.  The operator will answer in Spanish.  Tell them you don't speak Spanish.  They will still help you.
2. Their Customer Service Reps have terrible jobs.  They spend the bulk of their 8 hour shift being yelled at, told off, talked down to, and cussed at.  I had a close relative who worked there.  I know this first hand.
3. They have a set list of questions they have to ask you.  It's literally a checklist. They aren't asking questions to annoy you.  They can't assume you've taken all the correct steps to figure out your problem.  But if you don't want to "run the checklist" then do all the things I said above BEFORE you call, and tell them what you have already done before you get too far into the conversation.
4. Be nice to your representative.  They need a friendly voice.  Do it because it's the right thing to do, but also know it comes with a reward.
5. Ask for a discount off your bill.  Your representative has the authority to authorize a discount without asking a supervisor.  (up to $25!)  The nicer you are, the bigger a discount they'll offer you.

All that to say, I guess it's true what they say, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.  I don't really know why anyone would want to catch flies, but I DO KNOW that people want to save money.  So yeah.  Go.  Save some money.  And be nice to people.