Have I Mentioned I'm Broken

I broke my left arm about 3 or so weeks ago. It shouldn't hurt anymore but it does. That ticks me off. I told my doctor that I am ready to be at the i-am-irritated-because-my-arm-is-broken stage, but find myself still at the i-am-in-constant-pain-because-my-arm-is-broken stage.

I've come a long way in 3 short weeks. I should be thankful. In the beginning, my good friend Traci had to bathe me. Talk about humility . . . for both of us. We are both so modest. And, she's skinny and I'm not. So sadly, I thought a lot more about my cellulite and saggy breasts than I did about my broken arm. I tried to hide myself with my good arm, which made washing myself difficult, and Traci tried to hand me shampoo and body wash, while keeping her eyes closed or turning her head away. We laughed a lot about our modesty. It was comical.

And you know what else? I have come to really value having two good arms. There are seriously things that you don't realize it takes two good arms for. The first, is blow drying your hair. Takes two arms. Every other morning, Traci or Kim comes over and blow dries my hair. It is surprising how challenging operating a round brush can be one handed.

Opening a bottle of water. Takes two arms. Pulling toilet paper off the roll. Takes two arms. Pulling up your pants after figuring out the toilet paper thing. Takes two arms. Putting on your own bra. Takes two arms. Carrying your plate and your drink to the table at the same time. Takes two arms. Putting on your own seatbelt. Two arms. Holding your toothbrush AND putting the toothpaste on it. Two arms. Folding clothes. Two arms.

Other challenges. Shaving your arm pits. I'm right handed. I can't shave under my right arm because my left arm is broken, and I can't raise it more than about 6 inches. And I have no use of my left arm whatsoever. So that requires me to shave under my right arm with my right hand. Try it (those of you who shave your arm pits). You'll see what I mean. Putting on deodorant is a similar challenge. Pulling up the covers on your bed, also not easy.

All that to say, I'm sick of having a broken arm. I know I'm whining. There are plenty of people in the world with one arm, and they function just fine. I am just not one of them.