When I Am Afraid, I Will Trust in You

When my oldest son was a very little boy, he had a terrible anxiety about storms. It started when we lived out in the country and a tornado ripped through a nearby town, leaving in its path a trail of destruction.  When he saw the sheared off trees and the splintered piles of wood that used to be homes, he was overwhelmed that a storm could do that.

Try as we might, there was no convincing him the type of storm that wipes out an entire town is not the typical type of storm that pitter patters on your roof.  When lightning struck and thunder boomed, he was thereafter terrified.

One night, when he was five years old, a storm came in the middle of the night.  When I heard the first roll of thunder, I laid in my bed, wondering if it had awakened him.  I could hear a slightly muffled voice coming from his room, so I got up and silently made my way down the hall.  I could hear him whispering over and over and over,

"What time I am afraid I will trust in thee. Psalm 56:3."

"What time I am afraid I will trust in thee. Psalm 56:3."

"What time I am afraid I will trust in thee. Psalm 56:3."

Just as I reached the doorway of his room, the lightning exploded in the sky and I could see him sitting under the covers in his bed.  The thunder crashed loudly and he screamed, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.  Psalm 56.3!!!!!"

I remembered that story today as I was thinking about Boston.  About how to respond to the evil in this world.  And Zack's prayer came to my mind.

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

All that to say, I will not fear.  But I will trust and I will pray.  Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

A Series of Choices

"Every day is a series of choices." I say this almost every day to myself and to others. I used to say, "Every day is a choice," but I realized that isn't correct. That sounds like you wake up, you make one choice, and you're done for the day. As though that one choice will be all you have to make for the entire day, and you will be set. Those of you who are more spiritual than I might argue that if I awakened and said, "Today, I choose to live a life that is completely led by God" then my choice-making would be complete. I argue, however, that even in that, I will find myself throughout the day having to make choice upon choice upon choice.

Each day we, I, you are faced with a myriad of small choices. Will I get up when the alarm goes off, or will I push the snooze button? Will I call in sick, or will I go to work? Will I eat a healthy breakfast or skip it all together? Will I try to make it to work on the gas in my car, or will I play it safe and fill it up? There are probably thousands of these types of choices that we make every single solitary day of our lives. And these are the easy choices!

Each day we, I, you are faced with much weightier choices as well. Will I interfere in this situation, or will I trust God with these details? Will I harbor bitterness and unforgiveness, or will I freely forgive others? Will I continue to be angry, or will I release myself from the bondage of my anger? Indeed, will I choose bondage or freedom? Because ultimately, that's what my choices will lead me to, either bondage or freedom.

David said it this way in the book of Psalms, "I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post Your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever You tell me; God, don't let me down! I'll run the course You lay out for me if You'll just show me how."

He's saying (I think), "God, today I am on a journey to somewhere. Throughout this day, I am going to come to curves and corners, and I am going to have to make a series of choices about which way I go. And making the right choice isn't going to be easy. I'm going to have to grasp and cling to you in order to make the right choice. Don't let me down, God. I will make the right choice. But I can't do it without you."

All that to say, "Every day is a series of choices." Our journey to somewhere can be so long and so hard somedays. The curves seem bigger, the corners seem tighter and more treacherous, and the road seems longer. On those days, especially on those days, I choose to grasp and cling to the One who knows how to get me where I am going.