Driving

I am THAT person. The one who gets frustrated behind you because you are driving too slow, and so with a grand amount of drama, I pass you, only to slow down a bit when I get right beside you, then look over at you, like I need to see what kind of blankety-blank driver goes so slow. (yes, I said blankety-blank)

My kids hate it when I do this. They always say, "Don't look." But I can't help it. I have to look. Usually, when I look I catch the driver doing something stupid, like putting on make-up. I once passed a woman on the Beltway doing about 50 miles an hour (the speed limit is 65, I probably wanted to go 70). As far as driving on the Beltway goes 50 is slow, but as far as acceptable speeds at which to apply mascara goes . . . SERIOUSLY, she was putting on mascara at 50 MILES AN HOUR!

I've seen crazier though. One time I passed a guy reading a novel. True Story. He had his book propped up on his steering wheel. Flying down the interstate reading a book.

Of course I have passed people doing less crazy things, but none the less, things that caused them not to pay attention to their speed. Things like, talking on the phone, texting while driving, searching for a radio station, looking for something in the backseat, discipling their kids, the list could go on.

But the grossest, by far the GROSSEST thing I have ever seen, I saw yesterday. If you have a weak stomach, do not continue reading. (THAT WAS YOUR WARNING!) Yesterday, coming home from work on the Beltway, I get stuck behind this guy going like 45. So with the usual drama, I pass him, get right up beside him and look over at him. He has his pinky finger shoved so far up his nose, I swear it was completely enveloped by his nose. And right at the moment that I look over, he drags that finger out with the longest, thickest booger I have ever seen in my life. It was (and I am NOT exaggerating) about the length and width of an egg noodle. It was unexpectedly long for him as well, because right as he is dragging this thing out, he gags, which makes me gag. (I told you it was gross.)

Then I realize how long I have been staring at this guy, because there are now cars behind me ticked that I am driving so slow.

All that to say, this experience might have actually broken me from doing the quit-driving-so-slow staredown when I pass people from now on.