Family

I recently traveled to Arizona for my brother's 50th birthday. It's weird to think that I HAVE a brother who is 50, but then when I think about it, I am not that far from 50 myself. Ugh. In my brain, I feel about 32. My body would tell a different story, but my brain and my heart, they still feel really young.

Funny thing about my family, which is probably not a unique story, but we don't really know each other that well due to divorce. Our parents divorced when we were young (11,9, and 7 respectively) and we almost never all lived together after that. There was a year or two when we three kids all lived with the same parent, but those days were very, very rare. Usually two of us lived with one parent and one of us lived with the other and then there would be a fruit basket turnover and things would be different for a few months or a few years. This went on until we were in our teens. From that point forward, I lived with Mom and the boys lived with Dad. My younger brother, Dewey, and I have always been close, even before the divorce, but somehow remained connected over the years, and are close today. But Carl (the older brother) has pretty much always been distant. I used to think it was a defense mechanism (life was hard in our family as a kid, very hard) that kept him separated from us, maybe it was.

But here we are 50, 48 and 46 and just now we are starting to become a family again. Carl, at 50, has decided that he wants to know his brother and sister. I am happy that he has reached that place. I hope that it will be the first step to peace for him. He's had a tough life.

It was weird being at the birthday party of my 50 year old brother and feeling like I don't know him at all. Truthfully, all I really know of him are the tragedies in his life. I don't know his hopes or his dreams or his aspirations. I don't know what kind of food he likes or if he's allergic to anything or what his favorite tv show is. I know he has a mullet (a source of amazement for me) and I know he likes motorcycles and drives a Harley.

All that to say, I'm glad that each new day God gives us a second chance at something. This is a second chance for three little kids to actually become brothers and sisters.