Use Your Powers for Good

In the news a few weeks ago, on  EVERY.  MAJOR. NETWORK.  was the story of the little girls who got a puppy by getting a million "likes" on Facebook.

One million people took the time to post a picture of people who were most likely strangers to them, and then "liked" the photo and asked their friends to do the same.

One million people.  In 13 hours.

That's a lot of power for something as simple as a puppy.  

As I read and study the power of social media (preparing for the launch of ThatCarolJones.com in March) I am amazed, truly amazed, at the power of social media.

The power to do tremendous good.

The power to do tremendous harm.

The power to waste our time and wreck our marriages.

The power to cause us grief, envy, loneliness, and anger.

The power to lead inauthentic lives and to encourage others to do the same.

But also, the power to help others,  join a cause, overturn a conviction, stop a law, start a law, free slaves, get a puppy.

It's pretty heady stuff.

All that to say,  "Use your powers for good young Skywalker.  Use your powers for good."

Day 82: Coffee With a Stranger

At the wedding I attended this weekend, I met a young woman that I felt like I had known for years, but then realized we had not actually ever met.   I had just seen her for years on someone else's facebook page and felt like I knew her.

It's the second time that has happened to me, and I'm quite sure it will happen again.

Social media is awesome and amazing and wonderful and creepy scary dangerous all at the same time.  I mean, come on, it's a little weird for it to take several minutes into a conversation before you realize you don't ACTUALLY know someone.  Creepy.

But there are also those occasions when you meet someone for the very first time and it really is as if you've known them a lifetime. And it's has nothing to with facebook, but more to do with God-appointed chemistry. I had that happen today too.

I talked to a woman named Alli Worthington on the phone FOR AN HOUR and it was like I'd known her my whole life.  We got connected through a mutual friend who said he thought we had a lot in common because we were both witty, sarcastic, but thoughtful and bright and caring too.  (That's a lot to live up to!)  And that we were both writers, bloggers, mothers, etc.

She's been around the blogging block a long time and really scared the crap poo out of me as it relates to what companies are doing with all of our "personal" information that we are putting out there on the net via facebook, blogs, twitter, etc.  Google "Big Data" and read a little, and you'll be scared too!

At the same time, I felt the oddest sense of comfort as we talked.  It was like having coffee with an old friend that you haven't seen in a while.  Warm, familiar, comfortable.  I think God does things like that.  Puts people together and makes an instant connection because He has some purpose in the connection.

All that to say, Alli, I don't know His purpose, but I am praying for your post-it notes and my flashing neon sign.  And it was great to meet you.

Day 46: The Backstory

I'm still kind of on my "facebook isn't reality" kick.  I was thinking about it again last night because Mike and I were talking about a story I posted on my wall.  He commented that he didn't remember the story being quite so funny in real life.  And he was right.  It wasn't funny at all.

The written word is an incredibly powerful tool.  It affords us the opportunity to tell the story we want to tell, sometimes completely altering the reality of the situation.  And facebook is an incredible place to practice this art.  For example, here is a retelling of a story that I recently posted on facebook.

Me: (Sitting at restaurant as fajitas are served on skillet) "Girls, do not touch this plate, it will burn your skin off."
Shannay: (appropriately in aww and horror of something that could burn your skin off) "It will burn my skin off?"
Me: (very serious) "Yes, it will."

Long period of appropriate silence as the girls stare at and think about something that would burn your skin off.

Shannay: "Mama?"
Me: "Yes, baby?"
Shannay: "What's skin?"

Fail.

Even as I reread this retelling I am laughing.  Everyone who commented on facebook commented about how funny it was.  The way that I put the story together in writing, my word choice, the emotion I injected, the dramatic pause in just the right places all worked together to make this a very funny story.

The reality of this story wasn't actually funny.  As our food was served, we were  quite frustrated that the waitress placed the cold plates of condiments in front of Mike and me, but chose to place the burning hot skillet of fajitas in front of our two 3 year olds.  What insued was a flurry of movement by Mike and I to keep the girls from burning themselves.  In the midst of this flurry of movement was a very agitated me saying in a very agitated tone, "Girls, do NOT touch this plate.  It will burn your skin off!'

I'm certain I frightened them, but not nearly enough to keep them from reaching out at least once, causing Mike and I to flip out!  In the midst of the rearranging of the food, Mike said, "Really Carol?  It will burn their skin off?  Did you have to be that dramatic?  You had to go there huh?  You couldn't just say it would burn them?"

As Mike and I were having our, er . . . . "intense fellowship" over my word choice, the girls were staring at the steaming plate of fajitas.  As I continued to discuss why I chose to say "burn your skin off" instead of just saying "burn you" Shannay said,

"Excuse me, Mama . . . ."  "Excuse me, Mama . . ."  "Excuse me, Mama . . ."

Finally I stopped arguing with Mike and said, "Yes, baby?"  and she said, "What's skin?"

Mike and I both looked at each other.  Mike's look totally said, "See.  You didn't need to say skin. She doesn't even know what skin is!"  And my look said, "See, you don't need to get all upset because I said skin because she doesn't even know what skin is!"

Now, the way I put the story together in the first place (on facebook) is a completely accurate retelling of the story.  I did not rearrange the details in any way.  But I left out the backstory.  And the backstory is important to the truth.

And that's my point.  Regardless of what is written on facebook, most of us are not privileged to the backstory.  So we form "truths" based on what we read, but in reality the truth could look very different.

All that to say, facebook is a great thing.  It has so many incredible uses.  It has the power to do such good.  But it also has the power to do harm.  And that's a lot of power.  So we must be wise, not only in what we write, but in what we read and in what we believe about what we read.

Day 34: Let's Get Real

Facebook is fake.  In case you don't know this, I am going to state it plainly. Facebook is fake.

People portray their real lives in fake ways that make everyone else wish their lives were as perfect as the people's on facebook.  I know people whose lives are in terrible, torturous disarray, and yet their posts on facebook would lead you to believe their lives are perfect.  Their kids are perfect.  Their marriages are perfect.  Their spiritual lives are perfect.  Their jobs are perfect.  Their friendships are perfect.  Or that they are perfect.  Perfect wives, perfect husbands, perfect kids . . .

The danger in that should be obvious.  First of all, it's a lie.  And lies are the foothold of the enemy.  Secondly, if you are really in need of help, no one would ever know it.  So then when no one reaches out to you, you feel lost, alone, helpless, hopeless . . . the list could go on.

Plus, your "perfect life" might also cause someone else to feel like they're the only ones with imperfect lives, keeping them from ever reaching out to anyone else.

Facebook is fake.  And at times, we all live the fake facebook life.  All of us.

Facebook allows us to live in a fake reality where anything and everything is acceptable.

People air out their private discontent in a very public format.  They bash their families, their friends, their churches, their worship leaders, their spouses, their kids, the clerk at the grocery store . . . no one is exempt from the facebook rant.

This is basically the equivalent of walking into the lobby of your child's school, where you superficially sort of know a lot of people, and you just start ranting about something that has nothing to do with most of the people who are listening.

You would never do that.  And yet we do it regularly on facebook.

And I think that we who call ourselves Christians should most assuredly know better.  It makes us look bad, and it casts an ugly shadow on the One we are called to glorify.

The original idea behind facebook was to make fun of people.  In case you didn't know that, it's true.  Facebook was intended in a mean-spirited way.  Does that mean that it cannot be used for good?  Of course not.  It absolutely can be and is used for good purposes on a regular basis. 

How we use it is totally up to us.  We are called to be real, authentic people.  With real problems, real emotions, real lives.  Facebook does not give us a license to air out our hurts, problems, emotions, and realities for the world to see.  But it also should not be a place where we pretend these things do not exist.

All that to say, facebook is fake.  But we are called to be real.  Let's be real, in a real healthy way.

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