I remember the first time I "recall" her. It was on the rec field at 220, and she and another super cute girl showed up with fancy "Texas" hair, all kinds of jewelry, and looking ready for a lot of things, but definitely NOT rec! What a funny memory.
Her first remembrance of me is me speaking at a girl's retreat weekend called "Dear Diary" put on by Shauna Maness. I was undressing on stage and talking about all the things I didn't like about my body (which was not at ALL the point of the lesson, but sadly the part she remembers).
So, our first recollections of one another have to do with her being all dressed up, and me getting naked. This does not make for a good start to a relationship. :)
But today is her birthday, and I wanted to honor her in my blog. So here goes.
You are a funny girl. You make me laugh out loud, lots of times. Like the time you came out of the bathroom at Pappacito's and yelled halfway across the restaurant, "Carol, what are you getting?" and then when the WHOLE table made the "talk softer" hand signal, you got all shy again and said, "Oh, was I loud?" And then there was the time we were all playing dominoes and you looked at my dad and said, "Stop beeping me Gordy." I am sure both of these encounters are not funny to anyone reading this, except for the people who were there, but trust me, it was funny.
You are a sensitive girl. You defend everyone and it is endearing. You always say things like, "I'm sure they didn't mean it like that. They have a good heart. They just were raised differently."
You want everyone to be happy. Which is a nice quality . . . just be careful not to be tooooooooo concerned with everyone else's emotional condition! It'll suck the life out of you eventually!
You have a good sense of style. And I am reasonably sure you have never had a bad hair day! And if you did have a bad hair day, you could just put a headband on and another necklace and it would be a good hair day! (I don't actually like this quality about you for the record. Please, just once, could you look bad!)
All that to say, Happy Birthday to you. Oh, and I took your birthday purse. I liked it.
Twenty Five
Something happens to moms when it comes to celebrating the birth of their children. The day for us is so much more than a party, or presents, or cake and ice cream. Birthdays are remembrance celebrations. When my kids were babies, and then toddlers and then teenagers, I always spent at least part of the birthday day, on my own, just thinking about their lives. Today is no different. Each time one of the boys has a birthday, I take some time, on my own, to sit and think about the life they have lived. I relive good times, hard times, funny things, sad things, lessons learned . . . you get the idea.
Here's my birthday memory from last year
Today is Zack's 25th birth. Twenty-five! How is that even possible?!! In honor of his special day, I have made a list of my favorite things about Zack.
1. He feels everything deeply. If he loves something, he really loves it. If he doesn't love it, he REALLY doesn't love it. If he's happy you know it, and if he's mad, you know that too.
2. He is hysterically funny. He has spent a lifetime making us laugh. You only have to look at our family photos to see this quality in him. There is always at least one where he is trying to kiss Jacob or do something else equally as silly.
3. He has his own sense of style, in a lot of things, but especially when it comes to clothing and hair. I secretly want to be like him, but don't have the confidence.
4. He has a sensitive heart when it comes to people who are physically challenged.
5. He cares about people who others would deem unloveable.
6. He's not afraid to take a stand, but he's wise enough to know when to stand and when not to.
7. He loves his family, especially his little brother.
8. He's so talented. He can't take credit for the gift, but he is responsible with the gift he has been given.
9. He loves Jesus and lives a life that Jesus would be proud of, caring for the things that Jesus cares for.
10. He is such a great son. He's been a blessing from the very first breath he breathed in.
All that to say, Happy Birthday Zack. I love you more than candy.
Hooked
I was thinking today about how often we use the word hook in our English language, usually with a very negative connotation. I have NO IDEA why I was thinking this, some stream of consciousness I am sure, that led me to think about being let off the hook, which then led to me thinking about letting myself off the hook, and so on. From there, I just started thinking of all the ways we use the word hook.
If someone is addicted to drugs, we say they are "hooked." In fact, if they are addicted to anything, we say they are hooked. If someone meets a random person for an illicit sexual activity, we say they "hooked up." If someone is gullible and believes something stupid, we say they swallowed it "hook, line and sinker." If we catch someone at something and they don't know that they have been caught, we say they are "on the hook". If someone feels guilty about something, but they are clearly innocent, we say they should be "let off the hook."
I guess not all uses of the word hook are bad. A hook in musical terms is a good thing (I remember that from Masters of the Universe - the movie). I even remember when hooking up just meant that you would meet each other later, ie: "Let's hook up later and grab some coffee." BJ Thomas once sang a song called, "Hooked on a Feeling" and that was a happy song.
All that to say, my mind is obviously a mess if this is what I am blogging about!
If someone is addicted to drugs, we say they are "hooked." In fact, if they are addicted to anything, we say they are hooked. If someone meets a random person for an illicit sexual activity, we say they "hooked up." If someone is gullible and believes something stupid, we say they swallowed it "hook, line and sinker." If we catch someone at something and they don't know that they have been caught, we say they are "on the hook". If someone feels guilty about something, but they are clearly innocent, we say they should be "let off the hook."
I guess not all uses of the word hook are bad. A hook in musical terms is a good thing (I remember that from Masters of the Universe - the movie). I even remember when hooking up just meant that you would meet each other later, ie: "Let's hook up later and grab some coffee." BJ Thomas once sang a song called, "Hooked on a Feeling" and that was a happy song.
All that to say, my mind is obviously a mess if this is what I am blogging about!
Life Has a Rhythm
Last night we celebrated Zack's birthday early. He will be 25 very soon. Weird. I have a husband who is a half a century old (older really) and now a son who is almost a quarter of a century old. Yikes. Those words sound old and ominous. In my brain I'm not that old! Of course, my body and wrinkles would tell a different story, but they're liars, so . . .
Our lives are so busy that literally the process of trying to find a free day to go celebrate the birthday was ridiculous. Every day was the same, "What about Friday? I have to work. What about Saturday lunch? I have to work. I have to be somewhere at 2. What about Sunday after church? Okay. No. I have to work." There are four people in this family and everyone of us has a different work schedule. It was maddening.
But alas, we did finally settle upon a date and time (a mere 8 days early!) On Zack's official day, I will write about him (which I am sure he will love) but for today, I just wanted to say that families need to slow down. We are all too busy, all the time. Our lives are flying past us and we are content to watch them do it!
I listened to a Rob Bell message yesterday. It was about rest. He kept repeating this phrase over and over and over. "6 and 1, 6 and 1, 6 and 1."
All that to say, life does have a rhythm. It has a speed that it is designed to be played on. When we play it faster than the speed designed, it just sounds like noise. Slow down.
Our lives are so busy that literally the process of trying to find a free day to go celebrate the birthday was ridiculous. Every day was the same, "What about Friday? I have to work. What about Saturday lunch? I have to work. I have to be somewhere at 2. What about Sunday after church? Okay. No. I have to work." There are four people in this family and everyone of us has a different work schedule. It was maddening.
But alas, we did finally settle upon a date and time (a mere 8 days early!) On Zack's official day, I will write about him (which I am sure he will love) but for today, I just wanted to say that families need to slow down. We are all too busy, all the time. Our lives are flying past us and we are content to watch them do it!
I listened to a Rob Bell message yesterday. It was about rest. He kept repeating this phrase over and over and over. "6 and 1, 6 and 1, 6 and 1."
All that to say, life does have a rhythm. It has a speed that it is designed to be played on. When we play it faster than the speed designed, it just sounds like noise. Slow down.
White Knuckles
One of my least favorite questions to be asked is, "What is God teaching you right now?" If I can't come up with an answer, I feel like they will think me unholy, non-pastoral-like, so I grasp at something that's near the surface and say that.
Unfortunately, the thing that God is usually teaching me isn't near the surface. It's usually pretty far down, and it takes something jarring, some crisis or near crisis event to unsettle it and make it rise to the top.
The last 5 months have been a jarring of a sort. I have ridden a rollercoaster, of my own choosing, and my body and mind have paid the admission price. I cannot sleep. I eat junk. My mind is incapable of holding on to more than just a tiny bit of information in its short term memory bank. I'm cranky. The list could go on.
But this morning, I felt something give way, not a dam of tears, no epic cryfest, it was more of this dawning realization that I am not in control. That try as I might, it is not intended for me to be in control, and the sooner I get that, the sooner I understand that, the more likely I am to finally sleep and to rest.
All that to say, my white-knuckled grip on life needs to loosen up. My fists are sore from being clenched. So for those of you who ask, my answer is this. "He is teaching me that I am not in control. That He's got it. Whatever "it" is. He has it."
Unfortunately, the thing that God is usually teaching me isn't near the surface. It's usually pretty far down, and it takes something jarring, some crisis or near crisis event to unsettle it and make it rise to the top.
The last 5 months have been a jarring of a sort. I have ridden a rollercoaster, of my own choosing, and my body and mind have paid the admission price. I cannot sleep. I eat junk. My mind is incapable of holding on to more than just a tiny bit of information in its short term memory bank. I'm cranky. The list could go on.
But this morning, I felt something give way, not a dam of tears, no epic cryfest, it was more of this dawning realization that I am not in control. That try as I might, it is not intended for me to be in control, and the sooner I get that, the sooner I understand that, the more likely I am to finally sleep and to rest.
All that to say, my white-knuckled grip on life needs to loosen up. My fists are sore from being clenched. So for those of you who ask, my answer is this. "He is teaching me that I am not in control. That He's got it. Whatever "it" is. He has it."
Funny Things That Made Me Smile This Week
1. Monday - I wore flip flops to work. It rained. I break.
2. Monday - I got a bad haircut fixed. It was worse. My friend Kim said, "Don't worry, I'll tell you if it's really bad. I'll screech and say, 'oh my gosh, here, take my hat."
3. Tuesday - I saw a 70 year old man in a pink bathrobe picking up his paper. He looked very comfy in it. I smiled.
4. Tuesday - Went to popeyes. Got a spicy breast and a biscuit. The guy at the window said, "You come here a lot. You like our breasts, don't you?"
5. Wednesday - I saw a woman with no shoes on steal a potted plant out of a shopping center planter box. She carried a brown paper bag around with her. A large one. I wonder what else was in there?
6. Thursday - I was driving down the beltway, going around 70 in the left lane. A woman driving a little sports car got so close to me, I couldn't even see her anymore in my rearview mirror. But every now and then she would swerve right and left (I guess so I could see her). She was AAAAAAANGRY! I couldn't move over b/c traffic was heavy. I wanted to slow down. I didn't. But she was AAAAANGRY, and for some reason, that made me smile.
7. Thursday - The AC man fixed my AC. Yay for him. He said, "The wires melted. I fixed them." He said it like it was no big deal. Just the wires MELTING. I love calm people.
All that to say, each day does have something worth smiling about, if you look for it.
2. Monday - I got a bad haircut fixed. It was worse. My friend Kim said, "Don't worry, I'll tell you if it's really bad. I'll screech and say, 'oh my gosh, here, take my hat."
3. Tuesday - I saw a 70 year old man in a pink bathrobe picking up his paper. He looked very comfy in it. I smiled.
4. Tuesday - Went to popeyes. Got a spicy breast and a biscuit. The guy at the window said, "You come here a lot. You like our breasts, don't you?"
5. Wednesday - I saw a woman with no shoes on steal a potted plant out of a shopping center planter box. She carried a brown paper bag around with her. A large one. I wonder what else was in there?
6. Thursday - I was driving down the beltway, going around 70 in the left lane. A woman driving a little sports car got so close to me, I couldn't even see her anymore in my rearview mirror. But every now and then she would swerve right and left (I guess so I could see her). She was AAAAAAANGRY! I couldn't move over b/c traffic was heavy. I wanted to slow down. I didn't. But she was AAAAANGRY, and for some reason, that made me smile.
7. Thursday - The AC man fixed my AC. Yay for him. He said, "The wires melted. I fixed them." He said it like it was no big deal. Just the wires MELTING. I love calm people.
All that to say, each day does have something worth smiling about, if you look for it.
Just Another Manic Monday
Yesterday, I "awakened" at around 6:30 a.m. I say "awakened" in parentheses because in truth, I hardly slept at all the entire night. I kept being awakened to pray for someone. At first, I was very graciously obedient. I woke up, and I prayed. I prayed for what seemed like a very long time, and eventually drifted off to sleep. Within moments (or so it seemed) I woke up again, again feeled prompted to pray for the same person. Obediently, again, I prayed. This went on for what seemed like hours, so finally I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was only 12:49! Ugh. It was going to be a long night. And it turned out to be one. Literally all night long, I was awakened to pray for this same person.
This whole prayer process should have been a very sanctified experience, but after a while, I just got frustrated with God (it's not a secret, we've already talked about it). Not only was I NOT sleeping at all because He wanted me to pray for someone. The SOMEONE is someone I'm trying really hard not to be mad at. God is good that way, I guess. As long as I'm praying, it will be really hard to harbor unforgiveness.
Anyway, Monday morning rolled around and I knew I needed to get up for work, but I'm was dang tired that all my body wanted to do was sleep! I decided to check my calendar and see if I had any early appointments, and alas, I had an 8o'clock which meant I HAD to get up, drive to The Woodlands, and keep my 8 o'clock.
By mid-day I had gone to the doctor (he said I was stressed and to get some rest . . . I paid for that diagnosis - seriously.) But he also told me to go do something nice for myself, nice and relaxing. YIPEEEEE.
So, I went and got a haircut, bought two shirts, new jewelry, came home, put the whole new outfit together and went back to work. I felt like a million bucks! Then I realized, "I just had a totally spend-money-to-make-yourself-feel-better manic episode."
All that to say, it was indeed a manic Monday. And I liked it.
This whole prayer process should have been a very sanctified experience, but after a while, I just got frustrated with God (it's not a secret, we've already talked about it). Not only was I NOT sleeping at all because He wanted me to pray for someone. The SOMEONE is someone I'm trying really hard not to be mad at. God is good that way, I guess. As long as I'm praying, it will be really hard to harbor unforgiveness.
Anyway, Monday morning rolled around and I knew I needed to get up for work, but I'm was dang tired that all my body wanted to do was sleep! I decided to check my calendar and see if I had any early appointments, and alas, I had an 8o'clock which meant I HAD to get up, drive to The Woodlands, and keep my 8 o'clock.
By mid-day I had gone to the doctor (he said I was stressed and to get some rest . . . I paid for that diagnosis - seriously.) But he also told me to go do something nice for myself, nice and relaxing. YIPEEEEE.
So, I went and got a haircut, bought two shirts, new jewelry, came home, put the whole new outfit together and went back to work. I felt like a million bucks! Then I realized, "I just had a totally spend-money-to-make-yourself-feel-better manic episode."
All that to say, it was indeed a manic Monday. And I liked it.
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